friendlyField4609 Member Profile

...See more This is my first time ever posting anything anywhere. I've come to a boiling point where I finally need to let it out. I have extreme social anxiety, and other things. Any interaction I have, even family and friends, I get hyper aware of my facial expression, the way I look, and the things I say. For years I've been this way due to multiple traumas, and I'm starting to not believe it will not go away anytime soon. (Go figure lol) It's hard for me to even go in public and do things because I'm constantly hyper aware of everything I do, constant thoughts of others judging me every second. I've recently been talking to a girl and bombarded her with my emotions to only get ignored. I thought we bonded over anxiety, but I think I got too deep to fast lol. I'm craving someone to talk to and be comforted by, which I know is unhealthy and might form a co dependency. Sometimes I just want to be told everything will be okay and be held. I often compare myself with others and realize I'm so behind in life. I've recently turned it around. Got a car, working construction now, financially stable. But that's where my confidence comes from, I have great days, only to be overshadowed the next day where I nitpick every scenario from the previous day. I don't think I'm an unattractive person physically, but mentally I'm *** lol. I feel like no one understands the way I am, and want to make a change but am being held back by my extreme anxiety 24/7. This is the first thing I've ever done to maybe help progress my mental state, but also feels like I'm fishing for comfort and confirmation.

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