Just a lil trauma dump
This is my first time ever posting anything anywhere. I've come to a boiling point where I finally need to let it out.
I have extreme social anxiety, and other things.
Any interaction I have, even family and friends, I get hyper aware of my facial expression, the way I look, and the things I say. For years I've been this way due to multiple traumas, and I'm starting to not believe it will not go away anytime soon. (Go figure lol)
It's hard for me to even go in public and do things because I'm constantly hyper aware of everything I do, constant thoughts of others judging me every second.
I've recently been talking to a girl and bombarded her with my emotions to only get ignored. I thought we bonded over anxiety, but I think I got too deep to fast lol. I'm craving someone to talk to and be comforted by, which I know is unhealthy and might form a co dependency.
Sometimes I just want to be told everything will be okay and be held. I often compare myself with others and realize I'm so behind in life. I've recently turned it around. Got a car, working construction now, financially stable. But that's where my confidence comes from, I have great days, only to be overshadowed the next day where I nitpick every scenario from the previous day. I don't think I'm an unattractive person physically, but mentally I'm *** lol.
I feel like no one understands the way I am, and want to make a change but am being held back by my extreme anxiety 24/7. This is the first thing I've ever done to maybe help progress my mental state, but also feels like I'm fishing for comfort and confirmation.
@friendlyField4609 it's ok to ask for help and support 💖 I'm glad you decided to open up here 💖 anxiety is the worst 🙁 the over thinking everything you do is really really hard, bless you 🙁 but it seems like you got your work life together well💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗 everything is gonna be ok 💖 we are all here for you 💗
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve experienced this myself many times. I’ve said this many times before but it’s so true. You have to love yourself and believe in yourself before you can ever love anyone else. So to achieve this either takes an enormous amount of effort on yourself or you could seek professional help. It is very helpful for some people to talk to someone who has experience in helping others with mental health issues.
Thank you for sharing. It takes courage. Your anxiety doesn't make you broke, and you are alone.
@friendlyField4609
Hi dear friend!
You say that this is the first time you are writing and talking about this so I want to first say thank you. It must not be easy and very brave!
You say that you have social anxiety that makes you always talk to people, both family and friends, preoccupied with your facial expressions and how you react and be perceived by others.
You also wrote that it is difficult for you to go out and be in places with people for fear that they will criticize or judge you.
It must not be easy to cope with feeling that you are constantly being examined and judged and that you have to live up to expectations.
It sounds like you really want to feel seen and understood, and this is very natural and normal, and a human need that you deserve.
You say that sometimes you want to be told that everything will be okay, and this is a very understandable wish, even though no one knows what will happen. I wish you the best for yourself and that you feel good and appreciated! Glad to hear about your progress, that you feel financially stable and feel more confident even though there is still a fear of being around people and less easy days
It's hard and not easy, my friend, what you are going through. I won't tell you that I understand you because I haven't gone through it myself, but I feel you and understand how great this desire to be understood and seen is.
It's amazing that you want to make a change and already in this post you have taken a step of crazy courage
I'm proud of you!
You can always talk to a listener here at 7 Cups and get support on your way to change
Give yourself time, slowly, you are not alone!
I believe in you!
