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funakin
888 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 23 Compassion hearts99 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 27, 2020
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Any Late Bloomers?
Relationship Stress / by funakin
Last post
 June 11th, 2022
...See more Being in my twenties has been strange. It seems like everyday I see friends from grade school or college getting engaged or getting married. Meanwhile I’ve never been in a relationship. Haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I’ve never even held hands with anyone romantically. I know that I need to love myself and cherish the times when I’m alone but a part of me feels so worthless if I’m being honest. I feel like something is wrong with me. Like am I crazy for wanting to be held and loved by someone else in a romantic context? This pandemic has been so lonely. I’ve made so many friends but I still feel so isolated. I can’t relate to them. They are all so experienced and mature it seems. And it’s not like I don’t want to get experience. I do. I want it so bad. But it’s terrifying. My self-confidence is shot. I don’t want to settle and I don’t want to be taken advantage of but I feel I’m still so naive when it comes to relationships and sex. I feel stagnant. To anybody looking in on my life, I have so many great things going for me. I’m starting medical school soon at an amazing institution, I have a wonderful family, and amazing friends. People always tell me that I’ve always had my stuff together and how I’m such a pro at “being an adult.” But I don’t feel that way at all. I wish I could be satisfied with all the great platonic relationships in my life but I’m not. Sometimes when I just sit alone with my thoughts, I cry because I feel so undesirable. I look at myself in the mirror and a lot of the time I hate what I see. It’s just frustrating I guess. Idk. Just wanted to rant a little bit.
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I Feel Very Hopeless
Eating Disorder Support / by funakin
Last post
 August 28th, 2020
...See more I feel very hopeless right now. I just want to go in a hole somewhere and just hide. I think I might have body dysmorphia and I struggle with binge eating. I have binged two nights in a row this week - yesterday was so bad my stomach was hurting so much and I just kept eating. Today I don't know why but I feel extra bad about my body today and it sucks because I have no one to talk to. I really wish I could see a therapist but I won't have insurance coverage until my work benefits start in September. I really hate how I'm feeling and I know the way Im eating is so bad for me but I just can't seem to stop. I really just feel like I'll be this way forever and always hate my body and myself. I just really need help. Even now, I'm hungry but I'm afraid to eat. I've been delaying my meal since two hours ago.
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