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galfromaway
3 10,569 M Pacing Forward 4
PathStep 143 Compassion hearts1,607 Forum posts151 Forum upvotes247 Current upvotes247 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceMay 30, 2016
Bio

If you're a listener and checking me out in advance of a chat or after a chat request from, thank you for reading this. If you're taking a self-care break, or you're busy with many other members, and can't provide support, please let me know rather than simply ignoring my request. I understand how listeners have other priorities.

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I'm an early 50s mom living in Canada. Continuing to work through anxiety challenges, a new ADHD diagnosis, and continuing to find healing in our marriage.

What else to tell you...

Favourite movie: Princess Bride. Enjoy being outside, hiking when I can, camping, photography, and exploring. Trying to learn about gardening, and working to find more community connections.

Thanks. :)




Recent forum posts
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Martyr Complex - time to accept this is me
Anxiety Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 August 12th, 2025
...See more wow... this is tough to write... I've come to the accepting realization that (as much as I hate to admit it) my husband is right about me. And my past therapist is right about me. I am a martyr. I don't think I completely understood the definition when the term was first directed at me. But after watching my daughter do the same things I do, I have really been reflecting on it and looked up exactly what a martyr is. * Prioritizing the needs of others over their own. check * Difficulty saying “No.” check * Seeking praise or validation for their self-sacrificing behavior. check * Believing they deserve higher rewards based on the effort they put in. * Feeling neglected or ignored by others even though they did all the right things. * Feeling pressure to save the day because no one else will.  check * Difficulty trusting or relying on other people. check * Difficulty setting up healthy boundaries, particularly around work, school or other daily responsibilities. check * Blaming others for their actions and outcomes. maybe? * Participating in passive-aggressive behavior [https://health.clevelandclinic.org/passive-aggressive]. check * Holding other people accountable to unrealistic expectations. * Increased sense of dissatisfaction toward the person or organization you sacrifice for. check Some of these things seem to go along with my ADHD diagnosis, and these are all long-standing. And looking back, I do see how it comes from my mom. She never put herself first, and there was always an undercurrent of resentment and frustration. Which made it hard for me to feel confident, like I mattered, etc. And now I'm seeing some of this stuff with my 12 yr old daughter, and i'm feeling so responsible in some ways. I don't want her to have the same struggles. And I'm feeling guilty about husband having to deal with two of us who struggle to share thoughts and feelings. :'( I know I need to be better. And I need to work on moving forward, and finding better ways to support daughter. Too many thoughts in my head right now...
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Question: How to better deal with disagreements
ADHD Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 December 17th, 2024
...See more My partner and I had a fight tonight - he got really upset about something I did, which he was right to be upset. It was a stupid mistake, and based on a decision I made when I was distracted and not paying enough attention. (tween child asked for an app, turns out it's not a safe one for kids, husband mad we didn't have a family discussion about it before I let them add it on their phone. Asked when I was working and distracted) Whenever we have a serious issue like this, I shut down. I'm stuck in my head, my thoughts racing, trying to find words to explain what happened without feeling like I'm making stupid excuses, that I'm kicking myself for making this mistake again, and letting him down, bla bla bla. So when he wants to talk about things, even if he is angry, I cannot find the words to have the conversation. Which makes him even more frustrated. I don't know how to not do this. :( And then while trying to figure out why I do this and searching for ADHD resources, I found this discussion in a "partners of ADHD folks" group, which got me even more worked up. https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD_partners/comments/1cl3phe/partner_cant_think_of_anything_to_say_during/ It's not that I don't want to talk about it - I know we need to. But I haven't any idea where to start, especially when I'm upset. And I need to figure out how to slow myself down when dealing with something like this again so I don't do it yet again. Would love to hear how others deal with these kinds of things.
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Work advice needed - new job struggles
Work & Career / by galfromaway
Last post
 October 11th, 2024
...See more Hi there. I have posted this in the ADHD community too, but wanted to ask here since it's very much workplace related. I was diagnosed a year ago with combined ADHD - I'm now 53. The last year and a half has been challenging, with trying to find meds that work for me (on my 5th try now), dealing with a toxic work environment, then having my role eliminated (along with 7 others the same day) in February of this year  (and husband being laid off a week later), and now trying to adapt to a role I've only been in for four months. I'm really struggling to figure out processes and ways to keep myself organized, and am really feeling like I'm letting people down. My boss knows the ADHD thing - I mentioned the side effects from the meds. Add to that husband's aunt passing away, a good friend facing a cancer diagnosis, and there's really a lot happening. I think I'm starting to reach ADHD burnout - I'm letting tasks at work, at home and in volunteer roles slip, I'm not doing the quality work that I normally do, and my anxiety attacks are getting very serious. Everything is simply overwhelming, and I can't tell if I'm projecting onto my boss and colleagues that they're fed up with me and I'm >< this close to being fired, or what. How do you deal with overwhelm at this level? My anxiety has reached the point where I'm not sleeping well, my appetite is lacking, and my inner critic is going crazy, kicking me in the butt. How do you communicate burnout to volunteer colleagues and work colleagues in a way that it doesn't sound like I'm making excuses? And do I disclose the cause of it all? My boss knows the ADHD thing - I mentioned the side effects from the meds. I'm really struggling and don't know how to handle things right now. I am starting counseling again, but wanted to see if there is anything I should do at work to make things a bit better. Thank you
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Struggling with ADHD - challenges adapting to new job, meds not helping
ADHD Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 October 27th, 2024
...See more I was diagnosed a year ago with combined ADHD - I'm now 53. The last year and a half has been challenging, with trying to find meds that work for me (on my 5th try now), dealing with a toxic work environment, then having my role eliminated (along with 7 others the same day) in February of this year  (and husband being laid off a week later), and now trying to adapt to a role I've only been in for four months. I'm really struggling to figure out processes and ways to keep myself organized, and am really feeling like I'm letting people down. My boss knows the ADHD thing - I mentioned the side effects from the meds. Add to that husband's aunt passing away, a good friend facing a cancer diagnosis, and there's really a lot happening. I think I'm starting to reach ADHD burnout - I'm letting tasks at work, at home and in volunteer roles slip, I'm not doing the quality work that I normally do, and my anxiety attacks are getting very serious. Everything is simply overwhelming, and I can't tell if I'm projecting onto my boss and colleagues that they're fed up with me and I'm >< this close to being fired, or what. How do you deal with overwhelm at this level? How do you communicate burnout to volunteer colleagues and work colleagues in a way that it doesn't sound like I'm making excuses? And do I disclose the cause of it all? My boss knows the ADHD thing - I mentioned the side effects from the meds. I'm really struggling and don't know how to handle things right now. I am starting counseling again, but wanted to see if any other adult diagnosed ADHD folks had suggestions.
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My ADHD Story
ADHD Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 April 21st, 2024
...See more #ADHDstory I was diagnosed with ADHD in September 2023 at the age of 52, after a social worker asked if I might have it based on some issues husband and I were having. In looking into this, there is so much that makes sense. How often I would look back at things I did, even years ago, and kick myself for perceived mistakes I made... being scattered when it came to cleaning and tidying... the "doom piles" in various rooms... getting stuck when trying to get started on a project... how effective I am when things are in a crisis.... how socially awkward I am, and why professional networking was so uncomfortable for me... how hard it has been to maintain friendships... how forgetful I am.... it goes on and on. In the time since I started looking into this, I've gone through the grief cycle, feeling sad that this is something that's "wrong" with me (even though it's not a defect), angry that it took this long to figure it out.  Medications are proving to be a challenge. I've been on three different stimulants that didn't work (apparently they can make anxiety way worse than it is already), and am on a non-stimulant that doesn't seem to be doing a lot. My family doc has been really supportive. I've also seen an ADHD therapist, which has been helpful where understanding the condition and work-arounds and tools are concerned. I also read the ADDitude website/magazine a lot. There is still so much to figure out and learn how to work with, but I'm getting there. And husband and daughter are learning along with me. <3
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Do things get worse before they get better?
ADHD Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 July 9th, 2023
...See more For those who were diagnosed with ADHD as adults: Did you find that your symptoms seemed to get worse after the initial diagnosis? I've been looking into this since March when my counsellor asked if I might be ADHD, and the more I learn, the more likely it seems. I have an appointment with my family doctor next week so I'm hoping to learn more. But over the last couple of weeks I feel like I'm hyper-aware of my symptoms, and am looking back at my life growing up and keep thinking "That explains this... and this... and that..." Thanks
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I has a sad - cat passed away
General Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 June 15th, 2023
...See more This past weekend, my family and I had to euthanize our 15-year-old cat. :( He had a check-up a few days prior, but on Saturday morning, he wasn't able to walk and was in a lot of pain. Turned out he had something called a saddle thrombosis - a blood clot lodged in the "Y" where the aorta splits off to provide blood to the legs. Daughter is heartbroken, and we all are really missing him - his meows in the morning and at bedtime when he'd be looking for his wet food... him pawing at us when in the kitchen to get a few pats and some loves... his huge purrs... his happy drools... I worry a little about our dog and our 4-year-old cat, and am not sure how to support their grief. Our dog looked so confused when we buried the older cat in the yard, not sure why he wasn't responding to her sniffs. Just missing him right now and needed to chat about it a little. Thanks for listening.
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Adult ADHD?
ADHD Support / by galfromaway
Last post
 May 9th, 2023
...See more Greetings. It's been a while since I visited 7Cups and this group, and wanted to come to ask a question. Are there many here who have received a diagnosis of ADHD in adulthood? I'm asking because the question of whether I may be ADHD came up recently during a counseling session, and I've been looking into it. Based on the self-questionnaire I've looked at, it's very likely. Would like to get a sense from those who are over 40 and were diagnosed - how helpful has it been knowing that you have ADHD, and what tools are working for you? Thanks :)
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