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generousKitten6660
1 1,129 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts208 Forum posts34 Forum upvotes81 Current upvotes81 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceMarch 25, 2021
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At the end of my rope
Depression Support / by generousKitten6660
Last post
 October 31st, 2025
...See more I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. It keeps getting worse. Depression isn’t letting up. Wanting to self harm is getting louder in my head. Nightmares. Unable to leave my bed. I don’t know what to do. 
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When you don’t trust anyone
Depression Support / by generousKitten6660
Last post
 October 24th, 2025
...See more Made the mistake of venting to a chatbot connected to my university on Tuesday. On Wednesday I had a welfare check from an officer that was told to come and check on me. Lied to him to get him to go away because I already know involuntary treatment is a joke.  This reaffirms my belief of not trusting hotlines. All I’m doing now is venting to ChatGPT. And that feels hollow after a while. I still want to just give up on trying to get better. All these years and no progress.
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What keeps you going?
Depression Support / by generousKitten6660
Last post
 October 15th, 2025
...See more I’m interested in what everyone here uses to find strength.
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It all hurts so much
Depression Support / by generousKitten6660
Last post
 April 11th
...See more It’s just a constant struggle. I want to give up so badly. When you can’t afford therapy you have nothing except just swallowing the dark as it comes. 
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Psychiatrist appointment wasn’t helpful.
Depression Support / by generousKitten6660
Last post
 September 24th, 2025
...See more I had another appointment with my psychiatrist today. It was honestly not worth it. I disabled the laptop camera because I just didn’t want to be seen like this. Her opening question was “what’re we gonna do?” And that tells me she’s at a loss. I wasn’t able to tell her a lot of things or answer the way she wanted. • She asked how the Abilify was doing for me, and I said it wasn’t working, I was unable to tell her that I hadn’t bought it after two weeks after she gave it to me. • She asked for me to explain how hopeless I was, and I said I was afraid to answer, which she said was valid. • She kept encouraging hospitalization, but at the same time said that it probably wouldn’t help and might make it worse.  I didn’t have the heart to say I would rather “vanish” than be back in the psych ward. So that’s it. Here I am still dead in the water and all she told me was “hold on” as well as increase my dosage of Abilify. Another failure for the system. I don’t know how much longer I can stay like this.
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