generousWriter5974 Member Profile

...See more Hello everyone. I hope you are okay and if not... well, don't be bad. I am an 18-year-old girl and I have faced new problems that I don't know what to do with them. They are effecting my life so much. First, I can't cry. I really can't cry. Sometimes the only way out of a bad feeling is to cry and I can't do that and it kinda hurts me. sometimes. Certainly, a person doesn't need to cry twenty-four hours a day. Second, I hate other people... and myself. I don't mean that I don't love my friends or my family... no. I just don't want to interact with any human being. Like I don't have the feeling or I don't know, I like to be alone. So that going to school has become a very difficult thing for me. Third, I don't even know what's wrong with me that sometimes I feel very low and down. Of course, there are many problems, But I don't exactly know what makes my unhappiness stronger. Sometimes I get so depressed that I would like not to be alive. Fourth, I hate my gender. There is no further explanation. Fifth, I can hardly be happy with anything. And I have sleep problems. I hardly sleep and I clench my teeth while sleeping so that my jaw aches in the morning. (Sounds stupid now) Sometimes I don't know if I'm asleep and I'm dreaming or I'm awake and this is reality. Sometimes I hallucinate... Seventh, I have become very lazy and unmotivated and my socres (school) have become very ***. I used to read a lot of books, but now I read a line 10 times without understanding anything. It is very difficult to focus, I hardly can listen to the teacher while teaching and this doubles my school problems. Eighth, I have an obsession problem. Obsession with cleanliness and OCD do not need to be explained. But they also can make me feel so uncomfortable in many situations. The ninth is about my religious beliefs that have disappeared. I am not sure. I don't feel like doing my religious thingy and I don't know if I'm still a believer or not. Tenth, Thank you for reading me and I apologize that the texts are so scattered. I feel troubled in my mind.

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