Why things are like that?
Hello everyone. I hope you are okay and if not... well, don't be bad.
I am an 18-year-old girl and I have faced new problems that I don't know what to do with them. They are effecting my life so much.
First, I can't cry. I really can't cry. Sometimes the only way out of a bad feeling is to cry and I can't do that and it kinda hurts me.
sometimes.
Certainly, a person doesn't need to cry twenty-four hours a day.
Second, I hate other people... and myself.
I don't mean that I don't love my friends or my family... no. I just don't want to interact with any human being. Like I don't have the feeling or I don't know, I like to be alone. So that going to school has become a very difficult thing for me.
Third, I don't even know what's wrong with me that sometimes I feel very low and down. Of course, there are many problems, But I don't exactly know what makes my unhappiness stronger. Sometimes I get so depressed that I would like not to be alive.
Fourth, I hate my gender. There is no further explanation.
Fifth, I can hardly be happy with anything.
And I have sleep problems. I hardly sleep and I clench my teeth while sleeping so that my jaw aches in the morning. (Sounds stupid now) Sometimes I don't know if I'm asleep and I'm dreaming or I'm awake and this is reality. Sometimes I hallucinate...
Seventh, I have become very lazy and unmotivated and my socres (school) have become very ***. I used to read a lot of books, but now I read a line 10 times without understanding anything.
It is very difficult to focus, I hardly can listen to the teacher while teaching and this doubles my school problems.
Eighth, I have an obsession problem. Obsession with cleanliness and OCD do not need to be explained. But they also can make me feel so uncomfortable in many situations.
The ninth is about my religious beliefs that have disappeared. I am not sure. I don't feel like doing my religious thingy and I don't know if I'm still a believer or not.
Tenth, Thank you for reading me and I apologize that the texts are so scattered. I feel troubled in my mind.
@generousWriter5974
Hey there! I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and express what you're feeling, and I want you to know that I'm here for you.
It sounds like you're going through a lot of difficult emotions and experiences right now, and that can be overwhelming. It's understandable that you feel like you don't know what to do. However, I want to reassure you that there is always hope and help available.
Firstly, I want to address the issue of not being able to cry. It's completely normal to want to cry when you're feeling sad or overwhelmed, and it's okay that you're not able to do so. There are many ways to process difficult emotions, and crying is just one of them. You might find it helpful to try journaling, talking to someone you trust, or engaging in a creative outlet like drawing or writing to help you express what you're feeling.
I also want to acknowledge how you're feeling about other people and yourself. It's okay to want to be alone and to not feel like interacting with others. However, it's important to make sure that you're not isolating yourself too much, as this can worsen feelings of depression and anxiety. You might find it helpful to reach out to a trusted friend or family member, or to consider speaking with a therapist who can help you work through these feelings.
It sounds like you're also struggling with depression and possibly suicidal thoughts. If you ever feel like you're in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional, crisis line, or emergency services immediately. You deserve to get the help you need and to feel better.
I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself and to prioritize your mental health. It's okay to take a break from school or other responsibilities if you need to focus on your well-being. It's also important to seek professional help from a therapist or psychiatrist if you're struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health concerns.
Finally, regarding your religious beliefs, it's okay to question and explore what you believe. It's a personal journey and everyone's experiences are different.
Please know that you are not alone and that there is help available. You are important and valuable, and I believe that you can get through this. Take care ❤️
@Mya000
Hello. I hope you're doing okay.
Thank you very much for your reply. I try to deal with problems logically, and I almost know that the things I said are beyond normal for me... you know? I don't know how to say them in words.
Anyways. That's why I said them.
Thank you so much for being here ❤️
@generousWriter5974 You're welcome, I'm glad you found my response helpful. It's totally understandable to struggle with expressing your feelings sometimes, but I'm here to listen and support you. Don't ever hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to ❤️
@Mya000 thank you so much again. When I find a way to start I'll absolutely do it ❤️
@generousWriter5974
Hello!
I am not a health professional of any kind, but are these symptoms new or have you struggled with them your whole life?
If new, has anything happened to you or in your life recently or even a while ago that could have deeply affected you? A really bad experience, or a loved one dying, or family tension or parents not being stable or ok, or anything else?
These symptoms sound like they could possibly be a trauma response where your body may be trying to shut down and shut things out to protect you. Do you have access to a therapist or someone in your life who you can trust and could help you find a therapist?
@ArooHisky
Hello there. Thanks for replying.
I think they are old, but recently they have increased. Like I was always afraid of facing people. Mostly strangers. Or the fact that sometimes I wish to not be alive, I remember I had this wish when I was 5 years old. I don't remember the reason clearly, but I think one of them was the fight between my parents I had to see as a child.
I don't remember... I don't know.
No I don't have access to anyone here.. I don't have someone who I trust completely. The reason I'm here: I can stay anonymous and... I'm not facing people I know? And sure, here I can't reach to q therapist.
Thank you so much ❤️
Hi generousWriter. I’m so sorry you feel this way. I often had similar issues and never knew what to do with myself. Back then, there was no compassion for me bc my narcissistic mother made me a scapegoat for her to be a victim. That really messed me up.
I can say that meditation can help you, especially with calming your mind. When I first began meditating, I would watch my thought come and go and not react to them. Normally, I would react to each one, but by not reacting in meditation, I learned I didn’t half to react. That really helped me when in daily life to not feel overwhelmed by emotions all the time.
When I meditate, I set a timer for 15 minutes, close my eyes, and focus on sounds like the air conditioner or birds or whatever I hear. Let the thoughts go and come and go. When the 15 minutes are up, do life until you meditate the next day. Daily meditation helps you make a habit of realizing that thoughts can trick us. We don’t have to believe them, listen to them, or be controlled by them.
I hope you are offered other good suggestions and find this one helpful, as I do. I’m still meditating every day, which means a habit has formed. That’s the hardest part! 😊
@yardcarrot
Hey. Thanks for replying.
I'm sorry to hear that you struggled with similar issues. That must be hard...
That actually seems like a great way to defeat... or even except the bad emotions.
I'm not sure if I can do that because everytime I find myself drown in thousands of thoughts or feelings...
Yeah I know. Practice makes perfect
I will definitely give it a try and more time to show its effect.
Thank you so so much for your suggestion. That means a lot ❤️
@generousWriter5974 once you hit rock bottom. You will start exploring life for little joys, and don't give a *** to what others think.
@goodTalker373 Hello.
Yes, you are right.
Basically I'm not the kind of person who hardly enjoys things or cares or worries about what other people think about me. The things that have happened recently (recently didn't happen any heartbreaking sad making life effecting thing to me btw, I mean about the feelings and the mess in my mind) have made it impossible for me to lead a normal life. I used to read even 600 pages in a day, I used to draw, I got high grades in school blah blah blah but now for some reason I can't do them. I'm not sure if you get what I'm saying... sorry about it. I don't know how to sat them
Sorry I talked a lot..
Thank you so so much for responding ❤️
@generousWriter5974
hey there! I myself struggle with depression and maybe most of the things u wrote is true about me too( not saying that u have depression I am just sharing my experience) and u know what? having these feelings and emotions doesnt make us a bad person it just means we are having a hard time in our life and with a little help it is gonna be okay.
there is a saying I believe in and it says " it is okay not to be okay". just know that I am proud of u for coming here and writing this it means u are really stronger and braver than what u thin u are.
@tiamam
think*
@tiamam
Hello. I'm sorry to hear that. It must be difficult..
Well, for me when I talked to someone they said I seem to have depression but... I don't know. I'm like: it's not that baaad stop it.
I don't know
You're right buddy. It's okay to not be okay and seek help
Thank you so much for responding ❤️
