goldenBlackberry2525 Member Profile

...See more calling all cheaters: i need some advice, or just to talk because i feel totally alone (maybe that's just what i deserve though) so a few months ago I cheated on my partner, we were in a LDR for three years, and I still can't figure out why I cheated ... I suppose there's a lot of reasons, and I figured there's no way he'd find out, but then the person I was cheating with turned out to be a great friend and i guess my solution to having them both in my life was to confess but now I'm riddled with guilt, im convinced im a bad person, and i have so many feelings regarding everything that I don't know where to put them.. i didn't think it'd hurt my partner so bad, and now I can't trust my judgment completely people might say 'of course ur partner reacted poorly, you cheated on him!' He knew I was on dating apps and when we got together I told him I needed flexibility in the relationship , we had discussed a break for us to figure my stuff out anyway ,, also in regards to romance it's not like there was anything there for months , but obviously that doesn't justify it :( I don't know.. it's complicated and I have no money for therapy so I've just been ruminating on this: what's wrong? What's right? is there a future? i am unforgivable but why am i so upset over the way he treated me? why don't i just move on and date my friend because apparently, according to my actions, I chose my friend.. yikes he asked me how I'd feel if he did the same to me, and honestly?? I told him id forgive him, and I really would- because I know I'm the one for him and he's the one for me, so why would I feel threatened by a casual relationship? Idk maybe my brain is just crazy damaged and i don't know what reality is anymore 😬 anyway, any thoughts, experiences, insights, etc would be helpful- thank you for reading!

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