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goldenCherry7061
45 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts4 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2017 Member sinceJanuary 2, 2017
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1 year and 3 months later, I still can't stop thinking about her
General Support / by goldenCherry7061
Last post
 February 4th, 2017
...See more It's been a little over a year since a friend of mine passed away from cancer and to my surprise it has hit me much harder than I expected. I know that sounds horrible, but I really thought that moving on from a friend's death would be much easier than this. It pains me so much to know how much suffering she went through, that such a brilliant mind with so much potential is no longer with us. That she's gone forever and that I'll never get to even say Hi to her again. It fucking sucks. It has been very hard for me to function since then. The first few months were hell. I was constantly breaking down, getting emotional over the littlest of things. Every time I think I finally got over it, something reminds me of her again and the cycle starts all over. I keep asking myself 'Why?', 'Why her?', 'What did she do to deserve this?', the injustice is ridiculous. She was a 1 in a million type of kid. Smart, pretty, creative, great at writing, and most importantly, the nicest person I've ever met. Reading through the logs, about her plans for when she would be in remission, her accounts of her numerous surgeries, secondary illnesses and near-death experiences, about all the shitty things that she went through, ultimately for nothing... It breaks my heart. I miss her every day. (I apologize for any grammatical/semantical inconsistencies and errors, I'm not a native speaker, although I'm open to any corrections.)
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