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goldenRaspberries3366
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PathStep 11 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2016 Member sinceJuly 14, 2015
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Am I at fault?
Trauma Support / by goldenRaspberries3366
Last post
 August 3rd, 2015
...See more Hello I am 20 years old and I've been struggling with this issue for what now seems like my entire life. Me and my dad have a horrible relationship. It all started when I began middle school that's when he really started abusing me emotianally and physically. I never did anything horrible up until the 11th grade (caught with a baggie of marijuana, my fault i know). I guess when I was a child I was left home alone all the time. I was always by myself my parents didnt really spend time with me and it never felt like I was a part of them. I made straight A's and never got in trouble at school. The only thing was that I hardly had any friends I was a loner with super strict parents who could never go anywhere. Ill admit during around that time I started to resent my dad. He always says hell never forget the time I said I hated him in 7th grade. What happened was we were fighting over something I dont remember what and he was taking me to school when I had blurted out those words. He punched me in the face hard enough to leave a bruise and dropped me off at school I was in tears and couldn't tell anyone what happened. Ever since our relationship had been rocky he would always find ways to lower me and to this day tells me he has no respect for me. He makes me feel worthless all the time he will never change:( i feel HORRIBLE because he does pay for my classes and food when I need it but always through my mom who is always on his side no matter what she doesnt see how much he hurts me. When he would hurt me she would go in another room and after pretend like nothing happened. But what gets me is they say it's all my fault if I wasn't a brat through my teenage years we would have been happy. I live with so much guilt because of this..am I supposed to feel guilty..I'm just so confused at this point.
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