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goodTortoise5801
5,512 M Moving Along
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts111 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2019 Member sinceOctober 27, 2018
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What the Heck Happened? And What do I do?
Relationship Stress / by goodTortoise5801
Last post
 November 11th, 2018
...See more This is a complicated issue, so I'll try to keep it as brief as possible, but i would really like some insight from you guys in terms of what's going on, and what I should do about it. I've had a girlfriend for 8 years. It was long distance, and we met when we were pretty young. We always planned to meet up ASAP but since we were from different countries, that was hard. Not only that, but life got in the way. She went through a rough year or so, and not long after my whole life kinda caved around me. It seemed like everytime we had plans, they were ruined by something out of our control. But we remained strong. We kept constant contact. We were best friends, and relied on each other a lot. I can't speak for her, but I really don't know where i would be today if it wasn't for her. But eventually we made plans. She was gonna buy a plane ticket and come to see me for a week. We were both really excited. It wasn't exactly how we pictured it, I was with my family, helping look after some people with declining health, but it was SOMETHING. After 8 years, it was finally happening. We were so excited. She came and everything was great. My family loved her. She loved my family. We had insane chemistry. We went on dates. We hung out like best friends. With the exception of maybe a little more alone time, it was honestly the perfect trip. We loved it. She was even asking if she should be expecting a ring, and gave me crap when i told her not yet. She went back, and she was a little sad at first, but we went right back to normal pretty soon. But we started planning trip #2. She even asked about a potential trip #3 so I could meet her family during the holidays. I said i would see based on how my situation shook out, but we were making an honest effort to get that done as well. Until one day she was......different. She seemed very defensive. I got in trouble for the littlest things. I asked her what was wrong a few times, but it was always "nothing". Until one day I asked, and she told me she wanted to break up. She said she's been thinking about our relationship a lot and she's not sure if this is something she wants for the rest of her life. She doesn't love me anymore, and she would appreciate it if I stopped contacting her. Confused and heartbroken, I did do that. I left her alone. I was a wreck but I gotta respect her wishes. And i needed to focus on me now Just a few days ago however, we got back to talking, It was kind of a mistake how it happened but it was nice. She seemed like herself again, not the defensive girl from before. We spoke and poured our hearts out to each other. We both agreed that now probably wasn't the best time to continue our relationship. She said she was very confused about what she wants in life right now. I said no problem, I'll be here for her every step of the way. We'll figure this stuff out together and maybe try again down the road. We were both really okay. But as I was leaving, I asked her, since she needs space, what am i doing? Should I message her once a week? Not at all? Just want to know where the boundary is. She told me that she isn't sure, because I'm her comfort zone and she wants to get out of that. She wants to get to a point where she can date other guys and not feel weird about it, which is hard if I'm around. So we'll see, and she'll try to contact me more often. ….. So, not only do I not know what happened to our relationship, I really don't know how to proceed from here. I want to be supportive when it really seems like shes going through some things. But I don't want to be a sucker. And I wouldn't say she's sending me mixed signals but nonetheless I'm very confused. The tone of the conversation seemed very different than the tone of the ending. Or maybe I'm misreading everything. I don't know. Anybody have any insight or advice? Thanks
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