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greenHouse1585
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 23, 2019
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26~ pansexual, nonbinary~She/They/He~ ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Dyscalculia

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Dad in denial.
Family & Caregivers / by greenHouse1585
Last post
 February 6th, 2021
...See more Some basic info to start: I’m Shelby, I’m 26. I have ADHD (and RSD), Depression, Anxiety, and Dyscalculia. I’ve been medicated since the 7th grade, but it took a dark turn for me to get that help. My mom has struggled with depression and adhd for as long as I can remember. We both support each other as best we can. My sister has recently been diagnosed with PMDD so the three of us are just a nice little support net for each other. Now here’s where my dad comes in. He needs therapy. For several reason. Chief among them being his abandonment issues, his anger issues (both stemming from his absent father), and his education related insecurities. The biggest thing I need advice about? In recent years, I have come to the realization that my father is almost certainly struggling with Bipolar Disorder. Having talked with a few people I’m close to who have been clinically diagnosed, the symptoms match almost to a ‘t’. The problem with that is, he doesn’t necessarily believe in “mental health”. He never wanted me to be medicated, he hated that my mom was medicated for various things (even stuff like blood pressure and things of that nature) and has made several ignorant comments in the past about us being “crazy”. The fear of being medicated in this way stems from his mother working with special needs kids when he was growing up. For reference he was born in 1962, so the math can be done accordingly so that you have an idea of the time period here. He saw mothers student’s being treated for various things, and saw them go from what he deemed “normal” into what he’s described as “zombies” and “near comatose”. 2 of my cousins, one older, one younger, were both medicated before me, and he saw how they changed as well. It warped is perception of what mental healthcare really is. He sees it as new-age lobotomy from what I can tell. But his untreated issues have affected me and my sister in ways that society would deem as “daddy issues” so put it crassly. I have trauma because he has trauma and refuses to acknowledge it, and it has done a number on my mental health in recent years. Watching how he treats my mom and sister and i on a daily basis. Seeing how he only cares about what benefits him (i.e. provides him with serotonin). If you want details of some of the more embarrassing details I’ll be happy to share if prompted, but its not something I really like sharing (its nothing like physically harmful or anything like that, its more in the vein of inconvenient and seeming like he just doesnt care.) i just don’t know what to do! I feel like IM being selfish for wanting him to get help because it affects me, but also, I hate when he gets depressive. He just shuts down. I hate that he doesnt tell me when something is wrong. I hate that he can only express his emotions in the most dire of circumstances. He spends money we dont have. He doesnt stand up for himself at work because he doesn’t feel like he is worth treating well. I just want him to get help like i did. He just doesnt believe in it. What do I do? How can i take care of myself in an environment like this? How can i help him without outwardly going “go see a therapist”? I’m just so lost and I’ve been so lost for so long.
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