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greyspacegirl
256 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 22, 2021
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Newbie Hub / by greyspacegirl
Last post
 March 25th, 2022
...See more Hi. I’m Alaska. I don’t know where to start. I have a history of what feels like almost trauma. I was sexually assaulted. But it was just a stuffed bear being thrust into my pelvic area so much that it hurt. By one of my friends at the time as a stupid hazing ritual. My dad was loud. But he never hit me, was just loud. I still curl up in a ball when he walks by loudly. He yells about that too. My mom grew up in a third world country. She thinks gaslighting and manipulating and guilt tripping is how you raise a healthy child. I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s not. I’ve moved out. Gotten used to being away from my parents. I think. But I don’t understand why everyone says I’ve been through so much. I’m autistic, suffering from BPD and C-PTSD. But I don’t feel real, or even like I was hurt that badly. And I know it’s not okay to want to be hurt more, but I don’t understand why that’s all I want.
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