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halffullhalfempty
248 M Embraced 2
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceFebruary 6, 2018
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Dying Relationship
Relationship Stress / by halffullhalfempty
Last post
 November 5th, 2019
...See more Yes. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me about four months ago. Him and I shared much love for each other and the break up was not about loss of attraction, but about family problems. He soon after wanted to get back together but began to draw himself away slowly. He began to talk to many other girls and essentially had the goal of pushing me away. He wanted to be with me but many complications arose and he felt as if he didn't deserve me. It hurt me and I tried so hard to get him back. He would say that "we were on a break" or that "once the semester is over he will be able to focus more on me." A few weeks ago, he had agreed to be in another relationship, though only putting about 80% in for the time being. He still chose his friends over me and talked to other girls, which I was not aware of. It was nothing like our relationship prior to the break-up. A little over a week ago, I found that he had been lying to me about many instances dealing with other girls. It was painful and I was going to cut everything off with him. However, he got extremely fearful of losing me and when we sat down to talk, he drove and bought me roses (my favorite), he cried as he asked me out, and he did everything he could to make it up to me and showed a great interest in wanting to truly be together again. He explained to me that he had been trying to push me away so that he could do what he thought was right, though he never wanted to lose me. Even before this, he was not controlling though he was possesive, he wanted no man to think they could have me because he took me as his. I understand it is not the healthiest trait, though this is how he was raised to show affection. A few days later, he began to feel extremely guilty of what he had done and said that I deserve better. I told him to forgive himself and give it time. Since then, we have bickered like an old, married couple and both him and I do not have the luxury to spend much time together, though when we do, it is amazing. Last night, problems arose and I told him that if he would like to sit down and talk about a separation then we can do that. He wanted to. However, the topic changed and him and I were able to spend the day together today and it was amazing. He did not imply at all that he wanted to separate and he seemed extremely grateful for the time and for our relationship. I have been texting him for awhile, though he unexpectedly brought up the fact that him and I "haven't had our talk yet." Our relationship used to be extremely stable, him and I were both talking of marriage, though now I am not sure what to do. It is dull and feels unwanted at times. Neither of us are able to let each other go, and both of us want a future together. Anymore separation will not be healthy for either of us concidering the actions and feelings taken during our previous seperation, but I am constantly scared that it will end, especially now with him bringing up "the talk."
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