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helpfulLemon8320
6 180 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts44 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceJune 18, 2025
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I have every advantage yet life feels dull..
General Support / by helpfulLemon8320
Last post
 June 23rd, 2025
...See more Hello, just found this and figured it'd be a good way to at least get my thoughts out into the world and off my chest. Here it goes.. To start off I'm 28. I have basically almost every advantage in life to be successful and I feel indifferent. I'm a 6'4 guy, in shape, I'm not ugly (not a man dime tho) I do not struggle to talk to women, I have an active social life when I want and I am my own boss. I had an athletic and a academic scholarship to go to a private university. I speak 2 languages. I've traveled out of the country. I've had many accolades in sports. When I did work in corporate I've gotten to work on the best teams etc.  I read a lot over various subject like personal development, spirituality, finances, mindset and stuff. I have a near photographic memory. I've made in most peoples yearly salary in one month and I've also had my bank account go negative other months. Everyone I meet always says "man if there's anyone to do it, it you!" I've been told that my entire life and it aggravates me so much but I've gotten better about it. I am not writing this to brag but I am just trying to paint the picture. If I have all of this going for me .. why don't I feel like it? To be clear I come from a very "average" family. Raised by a single mom, youngest of 4 but I wouldn't say we were poor. We for sure were not wealthy though. But we weren't missing meals or anything.  It's like there's this grayscale filter over life. Everyones in this giant see though box and I'm just on the outside looking in. I don't understand most peoples "drama" in life as it can easily be solved in my opinion. I cauld not talk to someone for months on end and then pick right back up as if no time has passed. I've worked 80 hour weeks and I've worked 20 hour weeks. No difference to me. I don't desire a luxury house or anything. If I go on vacation I'm ready to leave after the 2nd or 3rd day. Not a huge car guy either. As long as it runs and is safe. It seems that I'm just the odd one out. For a while it was like my soul was a dried up leaf and any pressure put on it would make it crumble. I wouldn't say it's like that now but definitely ... just bland. To be clear, I am not suicidal nor am I depressed. I don't have those feelings. I've never self harmed. I am extremely hard on myself though. But yeah, it's like I know I do have a lot of talent to use but I almost don't ... care? I'm not sure that's the right word but it is hard to motivate myself to get up and do stuff although I am making sure I'm clean and well kept. So not sure if that makes any sense. I think I'm searching for something and I don't even know what that "something" is. It's like I'm trying to meet myself. Thank you internet for being a spot for me to free flow. Take care everyone.
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