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henry87
91 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2019 Member sinceDecember 23, 2019
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Confused post breakup
Relationship Stress / by henry87
Last post
 October 30th, 2020
...See more I posted this in the wrong section. Reposting here. Confused post-breakup My girlfriend of roughly six months (this time) broke up with me about a week ago. This is our second breakup, the first was after about a two month, more casual endeavor and lasted roughly three months, during which time I contacted her often and pretty much made a fool of myself, and decreased my value as a partner. Here's the backstory up through where I currently am. For about a month to a month and a half, our relationship slowly fizzled out. I was too available, too attentive, needy I guess, and that caused her to lose attraction for me. Last Monday, I asked to speak with her after being ignored for a few days. I told her that I was tired of being ignored, ghosted, flaked on, and not shown the respect I felt I deserved. I gave her the option of addressing the issues or just ending the relationship. She became very upset, crying and apologizing for treating me the way she did. She chose to end the relationship, to which I accepted her decision, told her I loved her and her daughter (five y.o., with whom I had a great relationship) and said if she changed her mind to send me a good morning message the following day. I immediately went into no contact. She messaged me Tuesday morning and asked if she could have the week to think about what I had said. I agreed, and replied that if I didn't hear from her by Sunday, I would know her answer. Fast forward to yesterday: I did not expect her to contact me, I knew she truly sees no other way to handle this. She messaged me late last night and told me "I know you wanted to not hear from me, but I don't feel right doing that. I'm going to leave something for you on your porch tuesday." To which I replied "no worries, I'll keep my eyes peeled for an item on my porch. Take care!" She replied "you too." And that was the end of it. I am thirty two years old, I have had my share of bs relationships, and this wasn't one of them. I really do love this woman and her daughter, we both had great feelings of attraction for eachother at one point. I know I caused this by chasing too much, by not making myself valuable, but is there any way for me to re-attract her? I am going to give her the space that she obviously wants and needs, I am not going to contact her. I will not ignore her if she reaches out, but I am aware that it has to be her decision to do so. I guess I want to know the opinions of others on whether or not no contact works, and if it is the right thing to do in this situation.
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