hercupoftea Member Profile

...See more My ex-girlfriend and I were best friends since we were 12, together for 2 years, and broke up mid-late 2017 as our relationship going long distance caused too much strain. Our break up was somewhat messy, ending with us blocking each other on multiple platforms and stopping all contact. I did not handle it well, considering she was my only friend left and I was dealing with a lot (homelessness, family problems, no income, PTSD). It took me a few months to move past things, and I started seeing someone new. But last night I came across a file on my computer, a letter my ex wrote, and all those feelings just came rushing back. I feel pathetic. I ended up cyber stalking her to see if there was anyway to contact her again. There is, but I haven't. I feel like I'm betraying my girlfriend now because I can't get my ex out of my head. I don't even know what I want. I need to apologise, get rid of all the guilt about how things ended and the shitty partner I was, which I know is selfish. I don't even need her to forgive me, I just have to let it out and know it's been heard. But I also miss her so much. She was meant to be it, the one, everything. I still love her. Those feelings don't just go away, and it's only been a year. If she were to ask me back out I'd say yes in a heartbeat, and I feel so insanely guilty because of my girlfriend. I just don't know how to make things sit right in my head. It's so confusing and stressful

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