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hiimcaitlin
1 2,720 M Hopeful Heart 6
PathStep 158 Compassion hearts99 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceApril 19, 2022
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Can someone give perspective on this
Newbie Hub / by hiimcaitlin
Last post
 January 19th
...See more (This is what a sent a friend but it lays everything out pretty well) Ok I had a childhood love from age 9-11 and then at the end of year 6 he moved away which absolutely broke me because that whole thing was literally the only good thing about my childhood and it took me years to even start getting over it Fast forward to last night I was listening to music and the song I relate to him came on and half way through I stopped it and just decided that I wasn’t over it because I don’t think I ever will be So I decided to try and look him up half as a joke as I had tried in the past with no luck but yesterday I found his *** I saw his face and his family’s faces and everything just came flooding back There’s 3 scenarios that can happen here 1. I contact him, maybe he answers maybe he doesn’t, maybe we become friends maybe we get together I don’t know 2. ⁠I don’t contact him and I am still stuck with what could have been but at least that happiest part of my childhood can remain one of my best memories and nothing can ruin how perfect it was 3. ⁠I contact his sister first who I was also quite close with so she can give me some guidance on whether talking to him would be the best thing for me and for him Whatever happens I need more time to think about it and I need to talk to more people about it because I absolutely cannot *** this up and if I make the wrong choice I could totally ruin one of the best things that ever happened to me Of course the other dynamic of this is that I have always been 99% sure I was gay He has always been the 1% of doubt in my mind because while the thought of having sex with a man, marrying a man and forever being attatched to a man repulses me, it’s different with him I’m not sure if this means I am pansexual after all because I identified strongly with that first for years Or is childhood nostalgia and first love nostalgia clouding my judgement Either way basically my entire world has turned upside down but at the end of the day he’s there Im one message away from the place that felt like home This could be the biggest decision of my life and I should be more scared but for some reason I’m not and that might because he’s my person There’s so much that could go wrong here what do I do
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Coming to terms
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by hiimcaitlin
Last post
 March 31st, 2024
...See more Hi, I just joined the community and I have been struggling to come to terms with the fact that I might be a lesbian. I have been pushing it to the back of my mind for a long time and I recently educated myself about comp het and my internal world shifted. I now believe I am either a lesbian and I just have some intimacy issues I need to work on, or I am asexual but would date anyone (as I before believed I was pansexual). I have kissed a AFAB non binary person and a man, neither of whom I had butterflies thinking about, but I preferred kissing the non binary person a lot more, either way though I find all aspects of physical intimacy weird and a bit uncomfortable. With men it is way way worse though. I guess this was just kind of a rant. Can anyone relate?
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