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hiraya720
75 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 9, 2021
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Struggling with sexabuse memories from childhood
Trauma Support / by hiraya720
Last post
 September 10th, 2021
...See more Both my parents were highfunctioning addicts. Like theyd get drunk and drink a bunch of pills and take it out on me. My mom has been putting some kind of pill in my drinks for a while, i only noticed at like 15 or so because I guess she didnt grind it very well so it wasnt completley dissolved. Umm, i honestly dont remember much apart from just being very sleepy from it and blacking out. Like through like a fog i remember something sexual being done to me but i dont remember who or exactly what happened... funny enough thats not whats troubling me atm... this is: my parents made me take tennis lessons from some guy. And the guy would often sit me down and make me watch pornography on his phone although i was a minor and clearly not interested and uncomfortable. Hed also describe sexual acts to me every time i was taking a break from training. I was 14. He was almost 40. And i legit dont know what to make of it. Im 27 now, i have intrusive taughts and feelings of discomfort from that memory. And idk, i feel like im making a fuss out of nothing and that this is what all kids went through, but it isnt, is it? Like... am i allowed to feel traumatised for this.. and what do i do about it. Im not sure what i want with this... guess i just want the intrusive memories to go away. Idk... or talk to someone idk
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