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honestBlackberry1219
240 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceDecember 27, 2020
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Should I choose love or a safer life?
Relationship Stress / by honestBlackberry1219
Last post
 January 26th, 2021
...See more I have been in a serious relationship for over 2 years. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and he feels the same way towards me. We want to get married someday and have a family together. But our goals for the future do not align. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to move to the USA for higher studies and ultimately get settled there. When we first started dating I realized his plans are not quite the same. I thought maybe he'll change his mind about going abroad. And if he doesn’t, maybe I'll change my plans and stay here for him, even if it means not fulfilling my dreams. The country where we both live now is extremely unsafe for women. Recently violence against women has increased to the point that no woman, old or child, at home or outside, alone or in a group, can feel safe anymore. Everytime I watch these news I feel close to panicking, cause the victim very well could have been me. I can't bear the idea of living here for the rest of my life anymore. I have difficulty breathing by the mere thought of it. The hope I had that maybe my boyfriend will move with me, that is disappearing too. His father is very sick and I don’t think he'll have the heart to leave his parents behind, nor do I want him to make that sacrifice for me. I know it'll come down to me making a decision, do I stay here for my love, or do I move for a safer life? I should mention that I have grown up watching domestic violence. I have had to stand up to my father while he tried to kill my mother. I have had to be the emotional support system of my mother ever since I can remember, really. It took a heavy toll on me. I am utterly exhausted mentally and want to get away from my parents as much as I want to get away from this country. I wonder if I grew up in a loving home whether or not I'd have the strength to choose love, despite the adversities. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Do I break up with him now to avoid getting more hurt later? If I break up now, from this wonderful relationship, will I feel like I didn’t try hard enough? Or do I sacrifice my dreams and a safer future to be with him? Please help.
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