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icedheartonfire
355 M Embraced 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceMarch 6, 2024
Bio

38yrs

Mom of 2 with 1 more on the way!

In a healthy relationship, we are moving in together soon šŸ’•

Diagnosed with general anxiety, panic attacks, depression

Self Diagnosed, pretty sure I fall into QBPD and am working to do better for myself with that knowledge.

Childhood traumas began around age 13.

My mom thinks she owns my life, yes, on-goingā€¦very controlling and manipulative.


Recent forum posts
9 weeks 4 days state of Limbo
Parenting & Pregnancy / by icedheartonfire
Last post
 April 23rd
...See more At 7 weeks my ultrasound showed no baby, anembriotic pregnancy, the doctor said to expect a miscarriage and come back in two weeks and plan on a d&c or other options to abort. We chose to wait longer to allow my body time to act naturally. At 8 weeks I was having horrible lower back pain for two days but nothing else. Iā€™m currently at 9 weeks and am experiencing light pink spotting with an occasional red flecks. No pain at all. I have no clue what to expect. My breasts arenā€™t tender anymore but my nausea has kicked up again. Waiting to miscarry or go in and have them force it is the worst experience Iā€™ve ever been through. I have a whole new perspective on women who go through this. Not only do I feel like I need a hug but I want to just hug everyone whoā€™s ever had to go through this. I feel like Iā€™m in a state of limbo, pregnant but possibly not and no prior experience of miscarrying. Itā€™s hitting all my lows.Ā šŸ˜­
Controlling and Manipulative Mother
Family & Caregivers / by icedheartonfire
Last post
 March 25th
...See more Iā€™m so tired of the guilt trips. Iā€™m tired of the lack of support and being told to my face that my feelings donā€™t matter, only my moms feelings matter right now. Iā€™m trying to live my life and prosper for myself, my children and the little one along the way. My boyfriend and I are moving in together in June. It broke my mom to pieces. I understood this would happen. Sheā€™s been by my side helping me raise my kids while I provided. I tried explaining that sheā€™s welcome to come along but absolutely nothing is good enough for her. Sheā€™s losing her control over me, she losing her cash cow, she feels like she is losing her grand kids and after revealing anotherā€™s on the way she straight up said, ā€œYour joking right? You arenā€™t THAT stupid.ā€Ā  I am happy, Iā€™m excited, weā€™re moving forward, Iā€™ve been in a healthy relationship for a year and a half and we chose to try for a little one. (Iā€™m over 35 so I was worried I would struggle) Heā€™s been so patient with this crazy life Iā€™ve lived.Ā  When I left my kids dad, she was ready to leave her boyfriend of almost 20 years. So when I got an apartment and moved out she came along with me, but she never completely left her ex. The apartment was just a 2 bed so my kids had a room to themselves and she shared my bed. Awkward but I get it and it wasnā€™t foreverā€¦. Fast forward a year later, the lease was up and she wanted to try again with the ex. So I agreed and was proud of them for talking more and trying to break the barriersā€¦. Wow, was I wrong. I got trapped into that house with them and she STILL sleeps in my bed. I have tried and there is NO boundaries.Ā  Iā€™m ready to leave, I love her, sheā€™s been through the ringer and I understand so much of her but there is no reciprocation and sheā€™s destroying my soul while taking away any attempt of me wanting to continue having communication with her going forward.
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