Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
imaginativeSquare3673
1 84 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceMarch 15, 2026
Bio
Recent forum posts
imaginativeSquare3673 profile picture
Support on trauma in marriage
Relationship Stress / by imaginativeSquare3673
Last post
 March 16th
...See more Hi, I’m new here but I can’t afford therapy currently and I don’t know where else to turn.  I have been with my spouse for 7 years and we have been married for 3. Things were great in the beginning and it was like love at first sight. We communicated so well and never had true arguments, only normal disagreements and then everything changed. My partner developed an alcohol addiction, and started verbally and mentally abusing for years. I think I may have become attached and dependent and I even married him while all of this was going on.  It got so bad that I just cried non stop, I lost my sense of self, and I stopped caring about my appearance or hobbies or anything. He would make me feel worthless. He even cheated on me on 3 different occasions that I know of. As far as I know, it wasn’t physical only online/text, which isn’t any better. I almost left then, but I didn’t.  He lost his job due to drinking and sorta spiraled after that. We finally got him into a psychiatrist and learned he was suffering with bipolar disorder on top of the drinking. It all came to a head when he tried to end his life and I had him committed to an in-patient facility. He quit drinking, he got his meds balanced and he was doing so much better.  But then things changed for me. After all the trauma and mental abuse he put me through, I find myself resenting him and being angry with him all the time. There’s constant tension between us and I don’t know how to get rid of it. I don’t want to be intimate with him nor do I find myself being attracted to him most days. Things I used to love about him, I don’t anymore. And I don’t even get excited to see him or feel anything when he says something sweet to me.  It’s especially hard because I still view him as my best friend and I love him and care about him, but I just don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. I’m constantly torn between sticking it out and hoping for the best or leaving because I deserve love that doesn’t make me feel this way.  I told him how I felt in October of 2025 and I told him I would try to figure this out with him because neither of us were ready to give up. But I’m not sure what else to do, I don’t think there’s anything more he can do. I’m at a loss right now. It’s to the point where I have looked for validation outside of my marriage and that is something I have never done.  We made the decision last night to separate for a while (live separately, and still keep in contact) and see if that helps us work this out. And I’m still on the fence on whether or not to just end things now or to keep pushing and not just throw away our marriage. He said he’s willing to do anything to keep us together. But I’m just not sure anything he does will be enough.  I don’t know really know if any of this makes sense, or if anyone can help. I just need support and advice? I don’t know. I have no idea where to turn. 
Search more from @imaginativeSquare3673
Talk to an expert therapist
Hello! My name is Melissa and I am a licensed psychologist, providing mental...
Talk to Melissa Now
Badges & Awards
5 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out First Compassion Teammate
Report an issue