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intelligentMaple99
160 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceDecember 13, 2021
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Monsters in the castle
Trauma Support / by intelligentMaple99
Last post
 October 8th, 2025
...See more From so young that I can barely remember I have been beaten, shot, strangled, raped and blantly left for dead. My castle was supposed to be my safe place. My parents, supposed to protect me.. but there was no protection. They was "my daughters are upstairs" to pay for their next fix of drugs. I have been beaten by my parents for so many years, raped by so many strangers and my own brother, I have been shot by my dad and I have enured so much suffering that I don't feel anymore... I'm just an angry soul lost. I push everyone away. I'm so mean because of the fear of letting go and trying to trust. I hurt people. I've become such a terrible person for fear of having to relive my life. I cheated on my husband 2 weeks after our wedding with no excuse or reasoning as to why I love him and I always will but I constantly keep self destructing and I don't know how to stop doing that. I don't know how to let people in... I'm so messed up that when I'm sleeping no one can touch me without me waking up screaming and hitting... how do I break this horrible cycle.. how do I learn that I am enough and that I am worthy of love or even a good life....
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