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inventiveWater2160
2 160 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 5, 2019
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Selfish
Depression Support / by inventiveWater2160
Last post
 December 20th, 2024
...See more I do not express myself as well as many of you here but I just need to akwardly ask...I have been reading lots of posts here and I am feeling that even thou I share a lot of your feelings there seems to be a burden I carry that I am not sure others feel. I am told I am very selfish and negative even thou in my mind all I feel is hurt for myself AND others. I cause everyone to be miserable because I can't get my *** together. Is this a normal part of depression? Or, am I just a horrible person who has depression? 
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Feeling so down
Depression Support / by inventiveWater2160
Last post
 December 18th, 2024
...See more I just signed in to this chat for the first time. I have pushed everyone who loves me away. I have suffered depression my whole life, I am 65, I am angry and hate everything about myself and find fault with everyone after I know them for a bit, maybe subconciously blaming them for my issues. I had a very understanding son who was helping me but he is now fed up like everyone in my life. My heart is aching because he said that I am the most selfish, egotistical person he has ever met. It is like a dagger in my heart. I just can't stop the hate and anger. I seem to have to complain and whine for help to everyone who will listen and push them all away. Who wants to be with someone who just drags everyone down? I can't seem to stop, I feel the need to unburden myself. I need everyone's apporval and get angry when I don't get it. I seem to think others should be fixing me when they can't. I start therapy once again tomorrow with very little hope. I am doing therapy once again because I am terrified of being alone and horrified of who I am.  After all the medication and doctors I still cling to the distant thought that I might get help and feel some relief. I am hoping that I will get some medication that might at least numb me.
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