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jdotphillip
554 M Embraced 4
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts37 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceJune 12, 2021
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Purposeful Ignorance
Family & Caregivers / by jdotphillip
Last post
 October 23rd, 2022
...See more I currently live with my father and his (current) wife. We don't get a lot and almost never have, for various reasons. But the one I care about the most, is his purposeful ignorance and dismissal of my mental and emotional needs. He's openly vocalized that he does not care about how I feel; claiming his job as a father isn't to comfort me, but to "prepare me for the world". He also does that whole "I know my kid better than they know themselves" thing. Due to this, we never built any trust. So, when he tries to "help" me, I don't know what's going on so I panic and mess it up because he doesn't tell me. He always assumes he knows what the issue is, but never attempts to learn the "why". Then proceeds to complain about "repetitive patterns", when he doesn't bother to actually UNDERSTAND the issue instead of assuming what it is. Here's a metaphor I used to try to get him to understand (that failed): Say you're new royalty. You're neutral towards your staff and your dinner is presented to you. Suddenly you're poisoned. You're in the middle of dying, and the nurse brings an "antidote" for it. You never built trust with your staff and you're dying. But you're presented "help" which could ALSO be lethal. Would you take the antidote...?
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