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jetm0t0
2 882 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts63 Forum posts41 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 9, 2022
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Need a new therapist, and a new dating scene?
Relationship Stress / by jetm0t0
Last post
 March 15th, 2025
...See more So I don't know if it would help to read up on my previous posts but to keep it short I recently had my visit and my therapist doesn't seem to be very helpful when I talk about certain parts of my life. I get ok-ish advice for depression, but any time I bring up my relationship issues. They suddenly have no ideas, are too quiet, or give really "do nothing" strategies.  I have been single for a very long time and this is actually one of my most important things I want to change in my life. The meeting also started off late because the excuse was "sorry the previous person had a lot going on". I've heard this before, but all it does is make me feel like we have to spend time quietly giving honor to the person before me, and that's ridiculous. I need them to be here for my time, and I've been through *** too and I don't intrude on other people's time. It's not fair. Other than that I had one follow up date from a speed dating event, and unfortunately the same thing keeps happening, they get interested, then part way through they change their mind and any future dates turn into dead fish. I decided not to even text back this time because I could tell I was being judged for being too far away and that I don't drink. I can't drink my stomach refuses alcohol, it's a health issue for me. I guess I need to vent about not being able to vent on dating issues that never end.
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I had so much hope and excitement for a new connection
Relationship Stress / by jetm0t0
Last post
 November 25th, 2024
...See more I have been getting to know this girl during this semester, and things picked up with more conversation and my interest in her grew a lot. We are in the same club at school and one day she offered people to come visit her at work. She didn't specify who but pointed in my general area with 2 others nearby. After a day or two I took that to be serious so I decided not to waste anymore time. We have about an 8 year gap but at my age I know I would be very lucky if I could find someone even within 5 years my age since most people are married.  So I think I spent about 2 weeks getting to know her even more 1 on 1. She seemed like she could handle my focus and attention so I didn't worry. I know for a fact she is single as well. One day she comes to the club meeting and just dodges me. She doesn't say hello and talks to other people and sat away from me, she only asked 1 question from me that whole day (all of this is not normal). So I am a bit upset about this, I went home and struggled to be relaxed because I just got rejected again. I decided that whatever happened can't happen again, so I went straight to wall and bunker building. There's some signs indicating maybe she's messing with me, because after getting dodged she walks by my study area on another day and waves to the people in the room but no one noticed except me. So I looked up and hesitated but eventually waved back. When people do those kinds of things it usually means they want my attention but won't give me all of what i'm looking for. She also walked away looking as if she regretted waiting for someone to notice her. Anyway this is the pattern, and now it's been a week or two since and yesterday she was in my study group/room and immediately started saying hi and stuff. But I am so defensive now at this point I respond with very little and turn the conversation off. She got the hint and turned back to her work, but I don't even know what to do now.  For me getting ignored like this is now a major flaw I see that I don't think is recoverable on her part (this also has a lot to do with not having the energy to accept this from a girl I like anymore). However, I still have to work with her in the club so I don't want to be petty and a cry baby but I felt a bit justified killing the conversation so far. Things aren't really awkward but I want to be able to stop thinking about her because it might be too stressful to continue trying to understand her. I've been single for over 20 years and another event like this has me really burnt out on girls, or just trying in general.
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*Ring: Hello? Yes, this is new disappointment calling...
Healthy Living / by jetm0t0
Last post
 September 18th, 2024
...See more So, I had a scoping procedure done and I might have Crohn's. I may find out on monday if I have it. There's a joke in there somewhere right? If you knew my life you might think I should've written a book by now. It seems I keep getting bad news after bad news. Anyway, maybe it's all good and it's not anything like having cancer just because it's an autoimmune disease. I will try to keep my head up, because I for one need to see the good news as soon as it's coming. And secondly, I really HATE being forced to eat at the whim of what may or may not *** off my stomach. I feel so incapable when it comes to food and eating. So I'm hoping I'm just confused right now and my Dr. will come back and diagnose me on monday, and the treatment they talked about will work. Not only work but work significantly. It's very hard knowing I have no energy and that I can't eat 70-80 percent of the things I used to. My college goals depend on getting treated so I can still function in class. Does anyone have a good idea where I can get group talks for people with Crohn's?
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Not exactly stress, just a bit confused
Relationship Stress / by jetm0t0
Last post
 August 21st, 2024
...See more So I finally broke a 20+ year streak of being single. I kind of reserved this idea for a full on girlfriend and I don't think I have that...yet... Anyways, I met this girl an hour away at an arcade and she came up to me and I think she spoke first but she was quickly on to me. She even said twice "i'm flirting with you I hope that's ok?"  We hung out all night I didn't get back till 5 am. So it's been a really long time, and I see things slowed down after the first meeting. Maybe it's just my opinion of it being too slow? She is in an open relationship (so I believe there is another guy) and I am not her first guy for that situation. I was ok with being with her, and still am but I feel like I am just 3rd wheel. I know it's only been a couple weeks, but I want to jump on this opportunity hard. I feel like if I let this go I will be hard single again. So I am not sure how hard to press it. She asked me to call her today and we had a very good conversation, and maybe she is unsure how to juggle 2 relationships? What to do? I really like her.
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Tying to ask her on a date
Relationship Stress / by jetm0t0
Last post
 June 22nd, 2024
...See more I haven't been on here in a while but I guess I am confused about how to go about this nicely. I like this girl at the bank and I stopped going to the ATM so I can talk to her inside. Well often times it's really hard to be able to just walk up and get her as my teller, mostly because the co-worker is an eagle eyed dude who is always the first to call me up.  Should I just say "no i'll wait"? and wait for her? (they said I could do this at my regular haircut shop and I wait for her because she's actually good at haircuts). I don't want to seem like I only want to talk to her because I don't want any pressure towards her, but I hate having to talk to the guy. I am not very keen on social clues so it might sound simple but it's not. 
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The stress of time, body and mind
General Support / by jetm0t0
Last post
 June 6th, 2024
...See more I am posting here since I was just talking to a listener that turned out to be a scammer asking every inappropriate question so I reported them. That's a bummer, but anyways It feels like my body and my health is on the decline. I have been somehow single for 20 years, and I haven't ever stopped looking. I have some legal stress with a pending expungement soon, and I just don't know how to solve my problems. I feel like I am super smart at least, still getting A's in math classes but I keep hearing women say I look attractive and yet nothing happens or no one is "that" interested in me. I had a bad start with another girl over 10 years ago and still feel abuse and trigger points when women do certain things. I could really use an expungement like now, but unfortunately I think the court is piled up with criminal cases, and that means I will be served last and I don't know when that "last" is since crime is high right now.  It's hard to be positive and shut out my own negative thoughts but I think I have CFS or some other issue like pre-diabetes. I can fall asleep at 2pm now and I'm always tired. I feel like a zombie that can't be happy. I was losing hope here and there with my relationship issues and now it's added on even more with my recent decline in health. I may go to the doctor tomorrow since I am pretty sure my waitlist should have called my name by now on a potential cardiologist. Is there a step I should take, what issue would you address?
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I keep getting labeled a bad guy from women
Relationship Stress / by jetm0t0
Last post
 May 5th, 2023
...See more I recently messed up with a girl, and it seems no one wants to hear my story. This girl also might be a perfectionist because the freakout of what happened is a bit overboard, which is why I am ok that I can't be friends with her anymore. However, all the other friendships I've had are also messed up because everyone was told one side of the story. I've had a girl hit on me at a club and bring me to dance with her, then when she decided I didn't dance well or I was too quiet she freaked out and started crying to her friends and doing some power move to make it look like I messed up. These are two different situations but this stupidity happens every time. I am not kidding. If I get close then they power trip on me, or I get too confused. I literally can't date a woman. I think I have very open standards in terms of who I would date but there has been almost zero potential interests, and this was before covid. I don't know what to do.
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Tired of being single
Relationship Stress / by jetm0t0
Last post
 May 4th, 2023
...See more I'll start by saying I have ADHD, and a mix of other mental health issues. This seems to be making it difficult to keep or start a relationship. I have been single for a very long time and I feel like everytime I try it gets worse. I recently made a mistake with a girl, but I was confused. I am on the blame train by everyone who knows now. We are both students so I thought by now I could ignore this person, but although I'm glad I chose to leave when I saw them today, I couldn't leave happy or confident. I hate what the dating game looks like today. I know crimes are bad, but with my confusion and my frustration with that I didn't get any negative signs, I feel like I have no control as someone metaphorically will force me to suicide myself as a potential partner. An offside question I have then is: Is the intent of committing a crime a crime itself? (no crime actually happened, but that is the blame here). As this question and many others I have go unanswered, I have only built a strategy. 1. Get out of the country because the legal matters especially dealing with women today are against them and none of them want to date? 2. Give up? because religion and other traditions that I was grown up into have built my belief that finding a partner is easy and happens. It clearly hasn't.
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