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justcameforthesnacks
2,269 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2019 Member sinceMarch 7, 2016
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I don't even know if I'm depressed but I'm completely lost
Depression Support / by justcameforthesnacks
Last post
 December 27th, 2017
...See more I've been feeling like this for a while. I am unemployed and I believe this is taking away my sanity because at this point I don't know where to turn to professionally. Only had an internship after college which went wrong and screwed me in so many ways, so now I'm not even sure of where and what I could work on. I've tried t be introspective lately and find out what I've really like, separating hobbies and contacts that don't make sense anymore and accepting that I won't be picking them so I should not let them define me. But with all of this I feel so empty because now I don't know what I like to do. There's nothing that I really want to do, not a hobby that makes me explore it to the fullest, that makes me passionate about it. On one hand I try t force myself to be disciplined about a hobby and I end up turning it into a chore because I am not having fun. On the other hand there's no hobby that makes me work hard for it. At this point I don't know if I am actually uninterested and I need new hobbies or if I am just lazy. Same for a career. I have a background in IT but I would be a terrible developer so I tried to learn data science, since I liked what the data science team did at the company where I had my internship, but even that fails to fullfill me. Feels like there's no drive at all This work situation is even harder when I know I need to find something but have no idea what I should be applying to. I spend most of my day looking at job ads and thinking "I guess I could do this" and applying but it feels like I'm picking the least bad and not the best, something I guess I can do and not something I'm sure I would rock at. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense to you, I kinda need to vent and I can't afford a therapist right now. If you ever been in the same situation I would appreciate any advice you could give me Thanks
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