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karlacade
386 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts81 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes33 Current upvotes33 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceMay 29, 2024
Bio

I'm in college majoring in Japanese, and I hope to become a translator one day. I like playing video games; my favorites are Pokemon, Dead by Daylight, and Danganronpa (just as a few). 


Recent forum posts
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Another newbie here, hi
Newbie Hub / by karlacade
Last post
 September 22nd, 2024
...See more Hi everyone.  I've made a couple of posts elsewhere already, but I suppose I should do a general one, haha.  My name's Karla, and my pronouns are she/they. I'm 31 years old, and I have a laundry list of mental health issues. I'm a college student who's majoring in Japanese, I'm currently engaged, and I like video games. That's about it.
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Hi :3
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by karlacade
Last post
 May 31st, 2024
...See more Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm Karla, a 31-year-old demigirl lesbian, she/they. I'm currently engaged to a wonderful, wonderful trans lady, who I love more than anything else in the world. And, of course, since I'm here, I also have my own little laundry list of mental health issues. I love video games; my favorites are Pokemon and Dead by Daylight, though of course there are many many others as well. I'm also in university, majoring in Japanese, and that's pretty fun. Okay, that's all, I look forward to hopefully meeting people! Also, I hope everyone has at least a decent day. :3
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I wish I was better.
Depression Support / by karlacade
Last post
 August 28th, 2024
...See more Hello, don't mind me, haha. I have struggled with depression for a long, long time. So long, in fact, that I doubt there was ever a time where I didn't have it (tumultuous, abusive, traumatizing childhood, bad relationships as an adult, etc). It should be second nature at this point in my life. I should be used to it being around. I should be just able to accept that it's part of me, a part that I can't really get rid of.  But I apparently can't. For the past month, I've been more depressed than usual, and I don't know whether to attribute that to starting birth control, my emotional stability changing for some reason, or something else that I haven't even thought of. I don't feel like I have any sort of support system or people to talk to, because whenever I try to reach out to a friend like "hey, can we have a little time together bc i would really like it" or something similar, I'm either outright ignored or rejected. My fiancee told me last night when I said that I missed her warmth that maybe she doesn't have any more warmth because I've used it all because she's felt like she's had to emotionally support me too much. A group of friends (that include her) that I used to talk to and play games with all the time have basically been ignoring me lately, so I feel very excluded from them, even though she says that I'm not being excluded. I have a referral for mental health care from my regular doctor, but I have to wait for the next round of appointments to open up, so it's just trying to cope until then. It's just very difficult. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone, because I'm afraid they'll just see me as attention-seeking or guilt-tripping or victimizing myself.  I feel very lonely. And that's what's been getting to me the most. I'm 31; I'm supposed to be an adult, I'm supposed to know how to deal with this. But I don't, because I never learned how. And I don't feel like anyone cares enough to even try to help, even a little bit. I'm not asking for my friends to be therapists, because I know they're not. But... even a little check in sometimes would be nice. Like. "hey, how are you today? you okay?" But I don't even get that, even though I check in with them.  Oh well.  I just wish I was better. I wish I was normal, so people would enjoy being around me and having me around, and even welcome me. But I'm not, and I feel like nobody wants me around anymore. Blah. Sorry for going on so long.
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