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keiraa1987
3 156 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceNovember 13, 2025
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I want to stop being judged
Depression Support / by keiraa1987
Last post
 November 15th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, I’m 38 years old, a mother of four children — and I’m currently expecting my fifth. I don’t have a job; I stay at home and live only on a small income from renting out part of my apartment. But honestly, it’s not enough to support four kids — and soon, a baby. I’m sharing this because I feel judged. People look at me and think, “Why have another baby when you’re already struggling?” Believe me, I didn’t plan this pregnancy. It just happened. And I’m really tired of hearing things like, “You should have protected yourself,” or “You didn’t think about this or that.” Right now, I’m four months pregnant. I just need someone who can listen — someone kind, who won’t judge me, who can offer a bit of support or encouragement. Because honestly, it’s hard. This will be my fourth C-section, and I’m scared. I really hope everything goes well, but the risks worry me. To make things even harder, my partner didn’t take the news well. When I told him about the pregnancy, he denied being the father and said hurtful things. He told me he regretted ever meeting me. I don’t even know if he’ll come back. Many people would probably tell me to leave him — but I can’t support the children alone. I’m trying to stay strong for them, but some days it feels impossible. And right now… I just feel like crying. I feel worthless, like I don’t matter to society anymore. I can’t work — even though I wish I could — because I have no one to take care of my children. I’m completely alone. My parents are both gone. I don’t have anyone close from my family. Some relatives live abroad, but we’ve never had a good relationship. Even on my father’s side, it’s distant — half-brothers, half-sisters, no real bond. So, it’s just me. And some days, I’m just so tired. I sit on a chair and do nothing because everything costs money — even to go out or join an activity. I have no money. I find myself asking, “God, why me?” I know I’ve made mistakes, but I just wish — even for a moment — to feel a bit of happiness. I feel exhausted. I feel rejected, even by my own family. Since I lost my mother — the only person who truly cared for me — everything has felt empty. There’s no real help where I live. I feel lost, overwhelmed, and sometimes even ridiculous for still hoping things will get better. But I’m still trying to hold on… for my kids. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I just needed to let it out.
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