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kittyvin
77 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceMarch 30, 2022
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Should I move on? LDR
Relationship Stress / by kittyvin
Last post
 March 30th, 2022
...See more Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship, with plans to move in together after we both graduate (it will be the same year). I thought this was perfect honestly! We called and video called frequently, watched movies, etc. I have BPD and am trying to get help and am starting medications. Recently I kind of blew up because she forgot to respond to me all day while being obviously on her phone (she would reply to other people even in group chats). My illness makes me very very afraid of abandonment. I accused her of not caring about me. We recently broke up because we're both mentally in a bad place and we wanted to find stable ground and start again when we're ready. So this has put my emotions on edge as well. For about 2 weeks now, we haven't called almost at all. In total for the entire time, less than an hour talking. We text extremely rarely because she doesn't reply very much. She tells me she is going through a hard time, and I absolutely believe her, but she has had time to go out and hang with her friends, but refuses to even talk to me for half an hour even on her days off. I have been trying to give her space and alone time, but I'm starting to literally break apart inside. She's not communicating with me about how she's feeling and I am really scared she's moving on from me. Should I start to move on? This will be an extremely hard process for me because I love her very much. Should I give her more time and risk getting my heart broken, but also maybe getting another chance? I don't know what to do. By the way, I am very aware of how my BPD negatively affects my relationships. I have been learning new coping mechanisms and like I said, talking to my doctor's and trying to get a new therapist (I moved from my old one). I do still overreact to things but I am really genuinely trying. My girlfriend knows this as well, and I know about her issues too. Thank you for reading.
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