Should I move on? LDR
Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship, with plans to move in together after we both graduate (it will be the same year). I thought this was perfect honestly! We called and video called frequently, watched movies, etc. I have BPD and am trying to get help and am starting medications. Recently I kind of blew up because she forgot to respond to me all day while being obviously on her phone (she would reply to other people even in group chats). My illness makes me very very afraid of abandonment. I accused her of not caring about me. We recently broke up because we're both mentally in a bad place and we wanted to find stable ground and start again when we're ready. So this has put my emotions on edge as well.
For about 2 weeks now, we haven't called almost at all. In total for the entire time, less than an hour talking. We text extremely rarely because she doesn't reply very much. She tells me she is going through a hard time, and I absolutely believe her, but she has had time to go out and hang with her friends, but refuses to even talk to me for half an hour even on her days off. I have been trying to give her space and alone time, but I'm starting to literally break apart inside. She's not communicating with me about how she's feeling and I am really scared she's moving on from me.
Should I start to move on? This will be an extremely hard process for me because I love her very much. Should I give her more time and risk getting my heart broken, but also maybe getting another chance? I don't know what to do.
By the way, I am very aware of how my BPD negatively affects my relationships. I have been learning new coping mechanisms and like I said, talking to my doctor's and trying to get a new therapist (I moved from my old one). I do still overreact to things but I am really genuinely trying. My girlfriend knows this as well, and I know about her issues too.
Thank you for reading.
Hey, @kittyvin, so sorry you’re going through a hard time right now. From my own experience, people will always make time for those that they prioritize so maybe take a step back for now and consider focusing your energy more on taking care of your mental health and becoming your favorite version of yourself.
There are a lot of reasons why you & your girlfriend aren’t communicating as much anymore and unfortunately only she can give you that clarity. In the meantime, look into the best ways you can cope with BPD and find a therapist for yourself because it’ll help you with everything that’s going in in your life right now, which is a lot.
Maybr things will change in the future, who knows? Right now, though, you owe yourself your love, attention and the same effort that you give to others in your life.
All the best!