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kon1
177 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 16, 2024
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i was pulled back into the abyss
Anxiety Support / by kon1
Last post
 January 17th, 2024
...See more I have a severe anxiety disorder that comes in episodes. I’m good for a couple months, then i feel like i’m dying for a week or two, rinse and repeat. It comes on completely randomly and without warning. When i say it’s severe— i don’t mean sweaty palms. i can’t sleep. i cant eat. i can’t talk to anyone. i cant turn on the lights. i cant get out of bed. i can barely move.  it feels absolutely terrifying. the fear and panic that engulfs me for weeks on end is ***. it feels like im falling into a bottomless pit. simultaneously the most mundane and intense feeling you could imagine. sometimes i swear i can feel it physically. just falling and falling, even though im laying in bed. im just paralyzed mentally and physically. nothing helps. i just have to wait it out until i feel better. my body does this on its own and i don’t know what to do anymore. i really really don’t want to deal with this forever. all i do is cry and lay in bed all day.  im especially upset right now because i was doing really well these last few months, thought i finally go better, got my grades up and got a new job. then bam. i’m *** over because i guess i’m just not allowed to be happy. literally set in a few hours ago and have been sobbing since. my first day was supposed to be tomorrow. i’m so sad.
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