i was pulled back into the abyss
I have a severe anxiety disorder that comes in episodes. I’m good for a couple months, then i feel like i’m dying for a week or two, rinse and repeat. It comes on completely randomly and without warning. When i say it’s severe— i don’t mean sweaty palms. i can’t sleep. i cant eat. i can’t talk to anyone. i cant turn on the lights. i cant get out of bed. i can barely move.
it feels absolutely terrifying. the fear and panic that engulfs me for weeks on end is ***. it feels like im falling into a bottomless pit. simultaneously the most mundane and intense feeling you could imagine. sometimes i swear i can feel it physically. just falling and falling, even though im laying in bed. im just paralyzed mentally and physically.
nothing helps. i just have to wait it out until i feel better. my body does this on its own and i don’t know what to do anymore. i really really don’t want to deal with this forever. all i do is cry and lay in bed all day.
im especially upset right now because i was doing really well these last few months, thought i finally go better, got my grades up and got a new job. then bam. i’m *** over because i guess i’m just not allowed to be happy. literally set in a few hours ago and have been sobbing since.
my first day was supposed to be tomorrow. i’m so sad.
@kon1 😞 awww bless you. Mental health really does suck. But your episodes seem to be unbearable😞 I'm not sure what to say, I'm sorry. I hope you have medical help and support? Sometimes venting can help. You can always vent here, knowing someone hears your pain can really help. Gives you a big hug, I really hope this passes soon for you ❤❤
thank you for your sweet comment. that episode was really painful but i survived. thankfully i have good news! i was feeling well enough after i woke up to go to work and everything turned out just fine, and i was actually feeling pretty happy when i got home!! like i said my condition is super unpredictable 😂 i’m sure it’s not the last time this will happen to me, but i know there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️
@kon1 oh that's great news ❤❤ I'm so happy for you ❤❤gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ squeezes you tightly ❤ never be afraid to reach out here for support, when your feeling like that ❤❤
I also get through this situation it also affect my education and career even day of joining in my job i couldn't do that because of anxiety I know it feels unfair and I also ask myself why me
But you should choose your emotional well-being first and this is not just mental thing but emotional as well .healing is rollercoaster ride if you right now feeling unbearable pain or anxiety it means you body, emotions and mind is trying to telling you they need comfort, safety, love just because we are feeling good forsome period of time you should not rush to big thing right away that's the message
If you are still feeling anxious or in bed rest i recommend you doing EFT TAPPING for anxiety which is free on YouTube you can do while lying on the bed I do that everyday it helped me immensely.