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kook9714
2 1,219 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts132 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes83 Current upvotes83 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2025 Member sinceMarch 11, 2023
Bio

My story is strange. I’m a woman in my early thirties. I’ve had problems with depression, anxiety, self esteem, and a slue of other things. I am disabled. I had a stroke in the womb, so I’ve never been able to use my right hand much. I lost my right leg in a car accident when I was 7 years old. I’ve always struggled with it. I’ve never had therapy. I’m just trying to make sense of everything from past to present.

Recent forum posts
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Self-Esteem
Depression Support / by kook9714
Last post
 September 12th, 2023
...See more I'm a woman in my early thirties, and I have been suffering from anxiety/depression for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, it has gradually gotten worse over the years. My self-esteem is now at an all time low. I've never had much confidence. I had a stroke before birth, which caused some physical side effects. The muscles on my right side will spasm and tense up at random. When I'm nervous, or anxious, my muscles don't relax. It is only noticeable in my right hand, but that's enough for me to be ridiculously embarrassed. My wrist tenses up, and my hand will just go into a fist. I always try to hide my hand somehow, I've done that my entire life. Then, jumping to when I was seven years old. I got into a car accident with my mom. She passed away, and I ended up losing my right leg, and had numerous other injuries. The right side of my face had to be rebuilt, and I have quite a few scars there. I started wearing a prosthetic right away, so I've always gotten around just fine. But, it has always been in the back of my head that I'm not normal. I've never been normal. I started overeating after the accident. My weight has drastically gone up and down ever since. I'm now at my heaviest, and I've never felt worse. I've become painfully shy, and I feel embarrassed just leaving my house. I've always been somewhat reserved, but now it's awful. I'm afraid of talking to people, because I'm scared of what they'll ask. "What do you do for fun?" (Sit at home by myself) "What do you do for work?" (Minimum wage job) "Where did you go to school?" (Well, I've tried going to college numerous times. I drop out every time because I'm scared) "Are you seeing anyone?' (Nope, I've never been in an actual relationship. Come to think of it, I still don't know what my sexuality is. It's been hookups at best) I'm so lonely, it hurts. But, I also can't find a reason why someone would be interested in me. I honestly just feel useless..or worthless. I've never succeeded at anything. I just have a very mediocre life. Very plain. And I'm a physical mess. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to dislike myself, but I always have. I feel so lost. If you read all of this, thank you. I really do appreciate it. I don't know where else to get this out, so again, thank you. 💜
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Cutting Ties
General Support / by kook9714
Last post
 April 18th, 2023
...See more Hey everyone, My emotions have been all over the place this week. I don't think I should go into full detail on here, but I cut ties with my best friend who is also my cousin. We've been best friends my entire life. We've gone through unimaginable things together, but I made the decision to cut ties because her negativity and actions aren't healthy, for me or for her. I'm really worried about her because we don't really have anyone else (friends or family). Her parents both passed away from cancer, and my mother passed away when I was a child. I'm starting to feel guilty for standing up to her because there's just no one else really there for her. I want to think I'm doing the right thing (it's a very complicated situation). But, I've been crying all day because I care about her so much and I just don't know what to do. And, it's really hard because she is also family, and I'm just not sure what I should do now. I'm normally with her 4 days out of the week. But I don't know what to do with myself now. If anyone has some advice, that would be amazing. Thanks
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What Are You Thankful For?
Newbie Hub / by kook9714
Last post
 October 4th, 2023
...See more Hello! I'd love to know what you guys are thankful for. I'll start! I'm so thankful for my friends, my family, music, and being able to wake up each day. :) What about you?
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Hi, Everyone
Newbie Hub / by kook9714
Last post
 April 12th, 2023
...See more Hi, I just found 7 Cups a few minutes ago, so I'm not too sure how it all works. Bare with me, please. I have been feeling so completely lost, but unfortunately, I can't afford a therapist. I thought I might try this out. I'm just trying to find a way out of this downward spiral that I'm drowning in. My life has always been far from perfect, but I used to be able to find the silver linings in most things. I've slowly gone into a very dark place over time. The decisions I've made haven't been the best, and some would just call it self sabotage. Every aspect of my life has just crumbled over the last 15 years. I've barely left my bed in the last few weeks, and I can't seem to find a reason as to why I'm here. I truly don't believe I have ever felt this alone before. I can't find any meaning anymore. My hope is to find a light somewhere. Maybe, I'll find it here. I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyways, sorry for this terribly long post. I really need an outlet, so I'm baring myself on here. If you read all of this, thank you. So much.
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