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...See more Hey people. I need to share my story with you. This is the worst mistake I ever made, and I would be lying if I said it was not weighing on me. About 10 months ago, I cheated on my wife. It was in a massage salon... not sex, but a "happy ending". It was after my wife and I had probably one of the most stressful weeks of our relationship (nothing to do with us, but external factors), and we had a couple of fights. We were on edge the entire week. Then she left to meet her family, and I was alone. I don’t want to go too much into detail here, but I was so mentally exhausted that I lost control over myself. That’s when the "happy ending" happened. It was a stupid decision I made. It was wrong. I am responsible. I now consider it a huge, huge mistake and regret it terribly. Believe it or not, but I‘m happily married. I love my wife deeply and I know she feels the same way about me. We are very happy together. Well, but here's the thing. I never told her. The reason for this is, that I have had conversations with her about the topic of cheating in the past, and she said that if her man cheats on her just once, regrets it terribly, learns his lesson and never does it again, and if there is basically no way for it to come out on its own, then she would not want to be told about it. She said that she believes that it would be selfish of her man to hurt her with this knowledge, and that he would be putting his guilt on her shoulders. She said that her partner would be responsible to deal with his guilt by himself, but should not get her involved. She even went so far as to say that, if she was in a situation where she made a stupid one-time-mistake that she regrets terribly and the roles were reversed, she would keep it to herself as well... If the mistake showed her how much she loves her partner and the relationship, then doubly so. She also said that she believes that in a relationship both parties are allowed to have a certain amount of privacy and are still their own person, so not everything needs to be told all the time. However, she said that she definitely draws the line at repeated cheating or affairs, and in that case she would want her partner to break up with her before pursuing an affair. In this conversation I told her that I share her views, and that it is probably wise to keep certain mistakes to yourself, as long as you really believe it was a mistake that will never happen again. We were on the same page on this. I think I know her opinion on this quite well, and I think we had this conversation at least three times, most recently a couple of months ago. So, this i why I kept this to myself. I believe I have learned my lesson. I now know what it feels like to lose control and act against my own character. It felt like ***. It hurt me. It was a one time thing that will never ever be repeated, and it taught me to be vigilant in the future. Do you think it was right not to tell her, given what she told me? I have the feeling that she gave me fairly clear instructions how she would like something like this to be handled, but I‘m a somewhat insecure person that is always questioning his own decisions. Regardless of what she told me, I have quite a bit of guilt at the moment. This guilt does not serve me, or her, or the relationship, but it is there. Yes, I know this is my own fault, I‘m aware of this. ☹️ On the internet I read so many comments of people who say "your partner deserves to know", and I would generally agree that this is true in many cases where the partner wants to know, but perhaps it does not apply to everyone. Did I do right by her by not revealing my mistake? Does she "deserve the truth" even if she already made clear to me that she would prefer if I kept my mouth shut? It‘s a difficult decision for me. I know I‘m the bad guy in this situation, and I *** up, but I think I need some guidance. I want to do right by my woman, and I will never act so foolishly again. Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it a lot!

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