lavenderCurrent1411 Member Profile

...See more i think i finally realized how bad my life has gotten and i dont really know what to do about it. my boyfriend told me that the way i live is pathetic and that he could never live like this. and as much as it hurt to hear, the worst part is that i dont even really disagree with him i dont have a job. im not in school. most days i just sit in his room while he goes to school or plays video games with his friends. i basically spend my entire day waiting for him to be available again and thats the part that scares me the most because at some point i stopped really having a life outside of him my entire mood depends on how we're doing. if we're good, i feel okay. if something feels wrong between us, i feel like my entire world is falling apart i dont really have goals that im working toward. i dont have a routine. i dont have something that makes me feel accomplished or gives me a reason to get up and do things so when he isnt around, i dont really know what im supposed to do with myself i know thats not healthy. and i dont want to make him responsible for fixing that either. hes allowed to have school, friends, hobbies, and a life that doesnt revolve around me. i just wish i knew how to build a life that doesnt revolve around him either because i genuinely love him, but i dont want loving someone to become the only thing i have going for me i dont want my self worth to depend on whether my boyfriend wants to spend time with me that day i want to actually feel like my own person again

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