i need help.
i think i finally realized how bad my life has gotten and i dont really know what to do about it. my boyfriend told me that the way i live is pathetic and that he could never live like this. and as much as it hurt to hear, the worst part is that i dont even really disagree with him
i dont have a job. im not in school. most days i just sit in his room while he goes to school or plays video games with his friends. i basically spend my entire day waiting for him to be available again and thats the part that scares me the most because at some point i stopped really having a life outside of him my entire mood depends on how we're doing. if we're good, i feel okay. if something feels wrong between us, i feel like my entire world is falling apart
i dont really have goals that im working toward. i dont have a routine. i dont have something that makes me feel accomplished or gives me a reason to get up and do things so when he isnt around, i dont really know what im supposed to do with myself
i know thats not healthy. and i dont want to make him responsible for fixing that either. hes allowed to have school, friends, hobbies, and a life that doesnt revolve around me. i just wish i knew how to build a life that doesnt revolve around him either because i genuinely love him, but i dont want loving someone to become the only thing i have going for me
i dont want my self worth to depend on whether my boyfriend wants to spend time with me that day
i want to actually feel like my own person again
@lavenderCurrent1411 maybe start small by finding new hobbies or things to do. But I would also consider looking at maybe a community college and work with someone who could help you find a career that’s fit for you. In the mean time try and get outside or meet people in your area. There’s nothing wrong with how you are living, but start with something small to change your habits. Best of luck to you.
@lavenderCurrent1411
You have done a great job on self evaluation. You have identified that you need change and a different lease on life. You did not mention your own family. I am curious, how do they fit into this situation?
I can relate. I feel so poorly about myself that I put other people especially relationships above myself. I think it starts with finding one thing that you would like to do for yourself and by yourself that brings you self satisfaction and then keep the ball rolling from there. If the other person has issue with that, it is ok, keep going and pushing through and with time you will have the respect you deserve