lemongreen1130 Member Profile

...See more I feel like I am lying to myself and my partner the longer I wait. We have been together 5 years LDR. He's really great and accepting of me being trans and I try my best to support him when his anxiety is bad. He says he still loves me and wants to move in together someday. I want that too...but his actions to me say otherwise. We are in a constant cycle where he won't respond to me for days, so I get upset and won't initiate conversation. This will usually last a week before I feel guilty (what if he got hurt and I was just being petty?). He will respond saying he was busy or that he just forgot. We will have a brief conversation (he mostly just talks about his college classes) and he will say that he loves me and goes to bed, and then I dont hear from him for days after. I talked to him about this and to resolve this we agreed to do a weekly date. It went pretty good for a month. Then he cancled one day. This was almost 2 months ago and we haven't hung out since. I feel like I'm lying to myself by saying that I'm still in a relationship when he isn't there. It feels just like a title now and nothing more. The relationship is one sided and I carry it alone. I should probably leave, part of me wants to and part of me is heartbroken. I'm so scared that when I leave him that I will lose my last chance for love. I'm not attractive or charismatic. I don't have friends available to support me through a breakup. I have to deal with this all alone. I don't want to leave him.

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