Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
lexiannab
379 M Embraced 3
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 10, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
lexiannab profile picture
Emotional abuse with very strict dad and stepmother
Family & Caregivers / by lexiannab
Last post
 February 10th, 2021
...See more If I were to type out my whole story, it would take hours. I will type what happened this past Sunday, and if I actually get a response, I will talk about other things. Mini back story: I am a month short of being 20 years old. I am about to graduate with my associate’s degree, and I’ve recently taken my dream job as a vet tech. I will enroll to get licensed as soon as I graduate and decide on a program that fits my needs. I am a good “kid.” I’ve never given my parents any trouble. I did was an active student in high school and got good grades that allowed me to receive a full scholarship and finish college with no loans. I got a part time job when I began college to cover all of my gas and anything extra I wanted. My parents never expressed trouble paying for insurance or any other bills of that area. My parents are well off, but I decided on my own to get a job to feel like I was doing more for myself. I also was able to buy a new car and pay half of it while they offered to cover the other half. No problems with all of that. I have never gotten along with my stepmom. I would describe her as a narcissist and I believe she sees a lot of my real mom in me, which causes this undying hate for me. She acts perfect to strangers, but is a completely different person at home. I truly believe me and my dad would have a better relationship if it wasn’t for her. My dad has always had a temper, but it was never anything I couldn’t handle because I’m a lot like him and could pop things back off at him and he would settle down because he knew I was acting like him. Recently, it has just all went down hill. I do have a boyfriend who is great and listens to me when I need it, and he always offers his house for me to come to when things get bad, but I know if I ever left to do that just for a day, I would be kicked out and never welcomed to return. It blows my mind how they can act so loving, but instantly be able to flip a switch and cut me off. This past Sunday, I arrived home at 11:05 pm from my boyfriend’s place. This has never really been an issue before. I am normally home by 12 am, but we’ve never established a real curfew. When I got home, my stepmom and dad were both waiting for me in the living room. They set into me about being home by 12. I was really confused because I was home 55 minutes early? It is common for me to be completely confused during arguments because the accusations are so bizarre. Anyways, the things they said to me were in the top 3 worst times we have argued. It was mostly my dad, which was upsetting, my stepmother added her random comments just to stir the pot, but I have learned to mostly ignore her after dealing with her for 15 years. My dad made it clear he thinks I am not going to graduate college because I have a boyfriend (I am doing well??? And set to graduate this Spring), I don’t deserve anything I have, I have no respect for anything, and several other similar comments. I stood my ground and tried to hold back my tears, which I normally can’t do either. I actually said things I wanted to say and stood up for myself. I let them know I am graduating and he can show up/ watch online if he wants to, but I don’t care if he does or not because I will do it without him. Now I am working full time with much better pay plus benefits, which is great for someone my age with no experience in the field. It’s also what I want to do in life so I did good and I know that. I don’t really care if I “please” them or not, because I know they will never be happy with me no matter how much I do. I can deal with being tore down. I’m used to it. It hurts, but i know it’s not true. I can live with it. But this time they also did very degrading things. They describe themselves as religious. I do as well. But I know in my heart, that they are not the right representation of what I believe in and if they were right with themselves they wouldn’t say or do the things they do, but that’s on them. I only mentioned being religious because they started saying I’m only with my boyfriend to have sex. I do not discuss my personal life with them. I do not find it to be any of their business and will never discuss it with them. What I do in my own time with my boyfriend is for me and him. They claim to be totally against premarital sex, but my dad had me before he was married and hearing my stepmom talk, I would assume she did too, but I honestly don’t care what she did or didn’t do. Anyways, they got out a calendar and started marking dates and placing bets with money on dates I might announce I was pregnant and saying it would be within 12 months and other degrading things along the lines of that. It just hit me different. I felt so disgusted and I can’t believe my own dad would say those things to me. Yet yesterday (Monday) and today (Tuesday) he attempted small talk with me and I brushed him off because that did it for me. Idk how much longer I can avoid him because he will bring it back up after realizing what I’m doing. I can avoid my stepmom for the most part. We don’t usually engage in conversation on a “normal” day. It also came up during the argument about me moving out. I got “kicked out” several times, but they hold my car over my head. I offered to buy it from them because it’s technically in their name since I was so young. He said he would rather me walk than have that car. I live in a rural area and it’s 30 degrees out. I threatened to call my boyfriend, who would come get me, but he said he would beat him to death if he did come. If for some reason I was able to get away with him, I would never be able to get my things. It could be worth it, but I would also lose a lot of my belongings. I have definitely looked into moving out and me and my boyfriend getting a place together. We are almost financially ready. With his job, we could make it, but he has a few debts that will take a couple months to pay off before he would be comfortable. Now that I have my new job, it would be almost certain that we would be okay as long as we were smart about things. I do have a large savings account, but I’m afraid they would find a way to lock it up. My dad asked me during the argument if I would move out, and I said yes. That’s the first time that has ever been talked about it. I’m glad I said yes. In the past, I probably would have said no. I am honestly surprised that didn’t put me out in the yard right there. Sorry that I got a little longer than I intended, but that was only this past Sunday.
Search more from @lexiannab
Community updates
Talk to an expert therapist
Hello! My name is Melissa and I am a licensed psychologist, providing mental...
Talk to Melissa Now
Badges & Awards
9 total badges
First Post Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat Reconnect Reaching out First Compassion Bundled Group Friend
Report an issue