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lifeisjustadrama
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PathStep 5 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2017 Member sinceJuly 9, 2017
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Am I a horrible friend? :( Advice please...
Relationship Stress / by lifeisjustadrama
Last post
 July 15th, 2017
...See more So this thing has been on my mind for a while now, and I think I really need to let it all out and find a way to fix it. So here goes... Back in college (3 years ago), i was close to 3 girls, so lets just call them T, Z and Y (i hope this doesnt get confusing later). T and Z used to be besties, but then last year, they drifted apart and stopped talking, and then T and i got closer. We texted everyday, until this period this year, like there was a wk i had 5 submissions and i was getting really stressed out. I've told her that I'd be busy that week, and it was like maybe 1 or 2am, and then she started texting me about how she saw her ex in a club. And then i decided not to reply her cos i was super stressed at the moment.. i eventually replied her 2 days later after i cleared my work, and then from there i guess we kinda stopped talking as much. I suppose she thought that I'd be another one of those people who's leaving her. And I feel awful about that. I know that I shouldn't have, but then this year, I had promised myself that I need to start thinking about myself more, instead of sacrificing my feelings and social anxieties. And I know that if I were truly annoyed, I might have lashed out. So since then, I've apologised for not being there and told her that if she ever needs to talk, im there, that sort of thing. Honestly, maybe all this is just a pile of bullshit lies from me. But yeah. And now whenever we talk, I kinda feel she's kinda pushing me away? like just short replies and dont wanna continue the convo vibe. And yesterday, i went out with Z and Y, and Z asked if we've seen/spoke to her, cos she hasnt, I said I've last seen her in May and we haven't really talked in about a week, while Y said she was gonna meet her this wk. So then today, when I was on 7 Cups, I saw someone posted an article, which kinda made it seem that broken people cant be loved (which i totally disagree, cos I see myself as a broken person too). And then it made me think that maybe thats what she's doing too? Like she's pulling away but deep down she wants people to get close. Cos ive done the same before. But that's the thing, i'm not sure if she really wants her space or not, cos im also the type of person who gets annoyed when people keep pushing me when i wanna be alone. I don't really want people to keep asking if I'm fine or okay. I know it's my fault from the start, and I don't really know what I should do to fix it. So should i text her again, and maybe confront her about it?
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