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lightRaspberries567
1 836 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 3, 2020
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Is something wrong with me?
Trauma Support / by lightRaspberries567
Last post
 December 13th, 2024
...See more I was in a slight argument with my mom and my sister was sitting with us. Thad a rough day and had to keep up my demeanour in front of my very rigid and strict dad that even my mom is scared to make mad. I had an exhausting day and I mom didn't want to accept something that she did wrong, my sis knew that too. I became very angry but upon being talked down again and again, I lost control and I slapped myself repeatedly for a minute in front of her. She felt really bad by that. She is a very sensitive lady. I then calmed her down and my sister down and then told them I had a rough day and tbh I had a rough couple of weeks and I had to get the anger out someday. I said that it was my mistake that I became adamant and she should not worry about it. I pampered and convinced her that everything is fine and it was just a switch that went on and nothing else. I apologised and sent her to bed and my sister was chill as well. But now I am sitting here all by myself, feeling sad, guilty, confused, angry, and not understanding what happened to me… I am 18 and an international student on scholarship and I came back home for holidays. My house dynamic has always been tensed and financially tight as well. My dad has never been satisfied with what I do, no matter what I do, and my mum has always motivated me and my sis to move out, make money and get out of the home for good, and later take care of her if can. this was for the context but right now I am wondering whether I am doing something wrong, in some way that’s not correct, is there something that I can repair or amend to make things better, what if I am the root cause of my family’s problems, why did I make my mum cry today, how to I get out of this though process… this is what I worry about. So Sorry for such a long rant I didn’t realise I made it too long, Apologies!
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