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lime7288
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2018 Member sinceMay 28, 2018
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In my blood by Shawn Mendes
Depression Support / by lime7288
Last post
 June 10th, 2018
...See more Im 32 yo female, no kids/husband. College graduate, Masters degree. Ive been suffering from depression since I was 17, however the last three years have been especially bad and I began considering suicide. I was baker acted from my salaried position at a university at the onset of the last three years. The baker act really set my dominoes toppling over. Im barely hanging on by a thread, and I do not have a support system. I was always very independent and strong until I broke. The strength I was always so proud of is now a huge weakness as I dont have any friends/family I can lean on. I have talked to my friends and family about my situation, and exactly how I feel. Unfortunately, these relationships are not close enough to help me. My revelation overwhelmed the family I told, and because I was always so independent, I think that my revelation was too overwhelming to the family I did tell, and quite frankly they didnt know what to do. I have a relatively new boyfriend (7 mos) who has his own set of problems. He is just now learning about the seriousness of my condition. I tried sharing this song with him, to try and explain how I feel, and I brought it up twice. I waited on pins and needles waiting to get his reaction to the song. The longer it took for him to reply, the more I began to worry that the song may have set off his own problems. So basically I send him the song that starts with the words help me, and he doesnt text back for an hour, he reveals hes been busy doing other things. I guess Im upset because I thought sending a song that clearly says help me would help him understand what Im going through. I just dont know, I am asking for help but its so hard when Ive had to be so self reliant for so long. Here are the lyrics: Help me, it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take to ease my mind slowly Just have a drink and you'll feel better Just take her home and you'll feel better Keep telling me that it gets better Does it ever? Help me, it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up No medicine is strong enough Someone help me I'm crawling in my skin Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood It isn't in my blood I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious Afraid to be alone again, I hate this I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh Is there somebody who could Help me, it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up No medicine is strong enough Someone help me I'm crawling in my skin Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood It isn't in my blood I need somebody now I need somebody now Someone to help me out I need somebody now Help me, it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood It isn't in my blood It isn't in my blood I need somebody now It isn't in my blood I need somebody now It isn't in my blood
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