limegreenWest5858 Member Profile

...See more a few years ago, i became friends with someone, who i'm going to refer to as x. x has asperger's syndrome and severe anxiety issues, and since we started our friendship, everyone else knows me as the person who helps x out when they get panic attacks, or something bad happens to them. however, in the past year, things have changed. we've begun to drift apart a little, and being around x has changed. now i have noticed that i have become extremely uncomfortable around x, as because of their conditions, they've started to be extremely honest about things - a little too honest.. this can go as far as insulting my appearance, making fun of things i like and disrespecting my views on everything. i always tell myself they x can't help this, because of their asperger's, and i end up blaming myself for it, as i feel so disgusting for getting so angry about this. it's gotten worse over the past few months. we recently found out that x has a crush on one of our other friends, who i'll call z, and they are having trouble coming to terms with the fact that z is straight and can't return their feelings. they've even gone as far as to guilt trip z into not liking them back, and making perverted, slightly disturbing comments about z when they know they feel seriously uncomfortable with it. x has even admitted that they take pleasure in deliberately making people hurt or uncomfortable, and a lot of our other friends and i feel really bad about it. for example, a while ago, when i came out to x, they seemed to see this as an excuse to start touching me in places i wasn't comfortable being touched in, and when i confronted them about it they got extremely upset, and i felt terrible for months afterwards. my friends and i have seriously considered discussing how we feel with x, but we know that this will seriously offend them - they have attempted suicide in the past, and we're worried that something like that will happen again. we've even considered ending the "friendship", but x makes a big deal that they have nobody else. i suppose one of the biggest problems i have with this is the way i feel about it. x makes me feel worthless, and disgusted with myself, and it's started to take a tollon my general thoughts and personality. i know that i really shouldn't be feeling this way. i know that x has problems, and that i should be there for them, as they apparently have nobody else to go to (although they don't even "go to" me, really) - but i'm not sure if i should when i feel so terrible around them. i used to be so close to x, and i would tell them everything - but now i have to pretend to be someone else when i'm around them, and i can only really be myself around another one of my friends. i honestly have no idea what i'm supposed to do - it's been making me cry every day, i've been losing sleep and i went through a phase of self-harming because of it. i don't know who i should go to for help

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