Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

problems with a "friend"

User Profile: limegreenWest5858
limegreenWest5858 July 8th, 2015

a few years ago, i became friends with someone, who i'm going to refer to as x. x has asperger's syndrome and severe anxiety issues, and since we started our friendship, everyone else knows me as the person who helps x out when they get panic attacks, or something bad happens to them. however, in the past year, things have changed.we've begun to drift apart a little, and being around x has changed. now i have noticed that i have become extremely uncomfortable around x, as because of their conditions, they've started to be extremely honest about things - a little too honest.. this can go as far as insulting my appearance, making fun of things i like and disrespecting my views on everything. i always tell myself they x can't help this, because of their asperger's, and i end up blaming myself for it, as i feel so disgusting for getting so angry about
this. it's gotten worse over the past few months. we recently found out that x has a crush on one of our other friends, who i'll call z, and they are having trouble coming
to terms with the fact that z is straight and can't return their feelings. they've even gone as far as to guilt trip z into not liking them back, and making perverted, slightlydisturbing comments about z when they know they feel seriously uncomfortable with it. x has even admitted that they take pleasure in deliberately making people hurt
or uncomfortable, and a lot of our other friends and i feel really bad about it. for example, a while ago, when i came out to x, they seemed to see this as an excuse to
start touching me in places i wasn't comfortable being touched in, and when i confronted them about it they got extremely upset, and i felt terrible for months afterwards.my friends and i have seriously considered discussing how we feel with x, but we know that this will seriously offend them - they have attempted suicide in the past, andwe're worried that something like that will happen again. we've even considered ending the "friendship", but x makes a big deal that they have nobody else. i suppose oneof the biggest problems i have with this is the way i feel about it. x makes me feel worthless, and disgusted with myself, and it's started to take a tollon my general thoughts and personality. i know that i really shouldn't be feeling this way. i know that x has problems, and that i should be there for them, as they apparently have
nobody else to go to (although they don't even "go to" me, really) - but i'm not sure if i should when i feel so terrible around them. i used to be so close to x, and i would
tell them everything - but now i have to pretend to be someone else when i'm around them, and i can only really be myself around another one of my friends. i honestly
have no idea what i'm supposed to do - it's been making me cry every day, i've been losing sleep and i went through a phase of self-harming because of it. i don't know
who i should go to for help

1
User Profile: TransAm85
TransAm85 July 8th, 2015

Are you co-dependant? You just like randomly helping people and putting all your heart and soul into your gestures, but don't mind taking the blame for their inconsiderate actions and no appreciation? You should not be like that. Worry about yourself. I doubt that "friend" will be at your side when you are in the ER. The way you are describing this sounds like a one-sided, co-dependantrelationship. It's just not right. I can see if it was say, your mother or grandma, but .. friends come and go. I hope you think things over. :)