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liprug
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceMarch 7, 2022
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I'm so exhausted agian
Depression Support / by liprug
Last post
 March 9th, 2022
...See more M32 I'm at the point again where I'm just about to give up again. I'm mentally exhausted and on the verge of just giving up again. Been struggling with severe depression, anxiety and a avoidant personality disorder since my teens. I have 3 suicide attempts behind me. I have no friends, family which is pretty much dysfunctional or doesn't care to much about each other other than that I'd they need help about something. I keep everything for myself, none of my family members knows about my attempts. A year ago my gf left me, I had to find my own place. She ment the world to me, I screwed it up because I went listening and had a alcohol abuse which I used to just forget how I really felt. Just to make a story short, shitty childhood, abusive father both psychically and mentally that kept telling one how much of a failure I were. Mother who kept trying and is stil a part of my life. I live in Denmark, and I'm current working towards something that's called Flex, which is for people who can't work as much as the used to and stil gives a somewhat decent salary. Hopefully om gonna get it permitted within a few months from the government which is gonna increase my income by a significant amount compared to what I'm getting tight now on welfare. I just keep going to work every other day with a smile on my face, chatting and playing pranks on the teenagers coworkers like I'm okay, a few days before that I had on suicide attempt. If everyone else around me feels comfortable and safe I'm good, but as soon as I get home the world breaks down on me again. I feel like nothing and start to think about all the mistakes I did in life, I'm in debt, in driver's license, I can't own anything because of my debt which I'm not gonna be able to pay of ever. What could u possibly offer to another human being which is this case a girlfriend? I have a daughter which I have spoken to in years. I just feel lost, like I'm spinning my wheels going nowhere again, and I'm scared. Please don't give me some auto reply thingy, that's not that I need right now. To be fair I don't know what I need. Sorry for the long post.
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