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lordofcat
636 M Embraced 5
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2016 Member sinceNovember 6, 2015
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Am I so worthless that I can never achieve my goal?
Depression Support / by lordofcat
Last post
 March 2nd, 2016
...See more Hi, I'm new to this site, and I just need some help. I think I'm going on a crisis. I have this dream since I was a child to be a writer and now I have set a goal to publish my first book. I am certain that I will do most of the work, I only need help with editing and error checking (English isn't my first language). In real life no one can help me. My family discourages me from writing, my friends know nothing about editing... So I can't get help from people in real life. So I went out and seek for help online with the editing. I asked around for help, but very few people agreed to help. I gave people my outline but most of the feedback was either unhelpful or too short, and most of the time people didn't stay long to help me. I felt like everyone was rejecting my work. I recently got help from a person who agreed to be my writing partner and would check my work as I go. He seems the most promising of them all, but I have this fear that he, like other people, won't stay long. And recently I fell into depression as I thought back of my process of help seeking and was saddened at how many times I was rejected. I began to think that my work is so bad that everyone is so disgusted that no one wants to even look. Maybe I am really that bad. Maybe I will never be able to publish my book. But to be a writer is my ultimate dream, and if I can't do it I don't think there will be any point in life. Am I so worthless that no one wants to help? There are people who write, get good help and publish, but why not me? Sometimes I just wish I was a different person, with more talent and the ability to get things done easily, not a miserable wreck of a person I am now...
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