Am I so worthless that I can never achieve my goal?
Hi, I'm new to this site, and I just need some help. I think I'm going on a crisis. I have this dream since I was a child to be a writer and now I have set a goal to publish my first book. I am certain that I will do most of the work, I only need help with editing and error checking (English isn't my first language). In real life no one can help me. My family discourages me from writing, my friends know nothing about editing... So I can't get help from people in real life.
So I went out and seek for help online with the editing. I asked around for help, but very few people agreed to help. I gave people my outline but most of the feedback was either unhelpful or too short, and most of the time people didn't stay long to help me. I felt like everyone was rejecting my work. I recently got help from a person who agreed to be my writing partner and would check my work as I go. He seems the most promising of them all, but I have this fear that he, like other people, won't stay long.
And recently I fell into depression as I thought back of my process of help seeking and was saddened at how many times I was rejected. I began to think that my work is so bad that everyone is so disgusted that no one wants to even look. Maybe I am really that bad. Maybe I will never be able to publish my book. But to be a writer is my ultimate dream, and if I can't do it I don't think there will be any point in life. Am I so worthless that no one wants to help? There are people who write, get good help and publish, but why not me?
Sometimes I just wish I was a different person, with more talent and the ability to get things done easily, not a miserable wreck of a person I am now...
@lordofcat
Hello. For every success story there 10 failure ones.
Publishing a book is no easy feat. Heck, just writing it in the first place is already difficult. But you have written something, so that is one step done. Keep going. Writing seems easy but it is far from it. So it would be hard to find people around you who can edit, proofread and help your on your way to publishing. Its not common knowledge or a basic skill that everyone just has.
Good news is you already found someone who has agreed to be your writing partner (so I assume that means he has skill in writing, etc.) As long as you both work together, give and take then you'll be on your way to publishing.
Why would he leave? Perhaps the people you asked for help before weren't readers or writers but this one is. You have to believe he is as invested as you. If you show doubt then he might as well.
There are a lot of talented ruins out there. So you can stop wishing to be a different person. Talent without effort, perseverence isn't much. You're only a wreck if you give up when there is a plausible chance of success.
All the best.
@exampligratia Thank you for your advice. I think you are right: the people who left were just ordinary people while the recent one is a writer who I met in a writing site. But I just can't give up that fear of being rejected again after being rejected so many times. Maybe it's because I'm rather pessimistic and have the tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill. The thought of being someone else comes directly from that and my long history of low self-esteem and dwelling too long on the past. I really want to do something about it, but I don't know how.
Hello.I might not be able to suggest anything helpful prhps.(I'm new here) But if this is your dream then u should try ur utmost.I gave up all my dreams to be in a course which would please my family.This pains me most of the time but I like to tell myself that someday I will be able to live my life as I wish.😊 All the best.
@lordofcat as a writer myself I understand your struggle. And when the people around you don't support you it makes it even worse. But I'm telling you that if you have this passion you need to go for it. All artists struggle, it's inevitable, the world you are trying to establish yourself in is ruthless and people just don't want to help others unfortuately. A lot of people are too self involved to lend a hand.
There will be rejections. There will be hard times. But I believe in you. Your writing partner seems to believe in you too so that's another person who believes in your abilities and dreams.
I would love to know what your story is about if you're willing to share :)
Follow that passion and be fearless. Love - DA
@discreetAcres6234 Thanks for your response. It's so nice to see a fellow writer here. The book I'm writing is my first so I'm full of fear. It became scarier when there was no one to support me. I'm so glad that you believe in me. At least there are people out there who believe in me.
My story is nothing really, it's just a story of a patient who is hypnotized by a therapist to recover his lost memory. The patient experiences two visions of two different men, but soon the visions merge together and it becomes harder for the patient and therapist to know which one is real. I have been working on it for a long time but only started to put it into words recently. Well... I don't know if the story will be good enough to be published, or it will become another pile of trash...
May I ask you a question? How did you find help as a writer? And how did you start out?
@lordofcat well I'm still at university studying so I haven't really started out yet but I do have some advice that might be helpful. (I'm more of an aspiring screenwriter so that is quite different to books but they're similar in many ways, I hope this helps)
Something really worth doing is finding a writing circle or creative writing groups. It gives you the chance to meet new people, network, and get their help and advice. It's a lonely world out there for writers so having a group of people who have the same interests and goals is nice to have.
Getting an agent is also something worth doing as they will be a big help when it comes to getting a publishing agency to look at your work among other things. An agent will definitely push you in the right direction.
Something that I've learned from my screenwriting class is that nothing you write will ever be trash. If it's something you created and have a passion to write, how could that ever be trash? If you start writing and fall out of love with the idea, just leave it and start something else. Maybe one day you'll come back to that idea and fall in love with it again or create something new from it. You will always be your worst enemy here. There is no avoiding that self criticism. You just need to find a way to push it aside and tell yourself that your passion for the work is good enough and keep going.
When you first start writing you do feel full of self doubt. There is so much you don't know, such as, what is my writing style? What themes do I enjoy? The list goes on. But these sort of things develop the more you write so it's important to write a lot. You don't need to finish one idea in order to move onto something else. It also adds variety to your life to write for multiple ideas so you won't get sick and tired of the same old thing. It's also nice to take a break from things and come back with a fresh pair of eyes.
You should also find time to read. It helps to look at other published works.
And I think that's about all I can think of.
And on bad days where you hate everything you write and doubt you abilities, just remember that there will always be someone worse than you who has already published books. If they can do it, you can too.
At the end of the day, it's you idea and your passion. No one can change that. (I think your idea sounds awesome btw)
