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loserdotcom
31,064 M Determined Treads 2
PathStep 35 Compassion hearts850 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceOctober 28, 2019
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Hell (TW)
Personality Disorders Support / by loserdotcom
Last post
 February 2nd, 2020
...See more � �Hi everyone! I read your guys stories and it really made me feel better �knowing �that im not the only one experiencing all of this, made me feel less alone to read your guys struggles. I can relate to everything which �sucks... Im not diagnosed with BPD but i should see a therapist Asap. There�s something wrong with me. �I feel like no one truly understands what im going through �and i prefer closing myself up. Im a �burden for everyone around me and i feel like �everyone around me has bad intentions and that they wanna hurt me. Its an infinite cycle that never ends and i can see that its only getting worse and worse.i idealize and then paint black persons and idealize and paint in black and so on. Thats what i do with my girlfriend. �I�m tired and overwhelmed by everything i feel and i have suicide thoughts all the time. I pushed everyone away and i have no friends and �my romantic relationship is falling apart because i keep self sabotaging myself. She felt unloved and she went looking for someone else...i never felt so much pain in my life. She came back into my life �and i feel lucky... but i keep pushing her away with my behavoir and i can only watch my worst inevitable nightmare happening in real time. �The truth is all i want is to feel loved and understood. My expectations are very high too. My girlfriend is so over me and i�m desperate and i miss her terribly. Im only an option now, not a priority anymore and it hurts because she�s all my world. [Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to add TW]
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