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loyalCurrent1374
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceDecember 31, 2024
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Approach to having kids - breakup
Relationship Stress / by loyalCurrent1374
Last post
 January 11th, 2025
...See more Hi, I'm seeking advice for my situation, I've just broken up with my partner 2 weeks ago. We both love each other and would love to be together, but we have a different approach to having kids. My partner is 100% sure to have at least one, I had no need for children and couldn't commit to this idea, mostly because of how I feel around kids and how taking care of them drains my energy. Recently I've got an awareness and self-actualization on why I feel this energy drain, and that it happens in more life situations. I started therapy on this topic and I feel hopeful about the results. I was never 100% sure I don't want kids, I just couldn't commit because of this main reason that I thought I will be miserable with this pressure and stress, but now I see this can be worked on. I still don't know what the final result will be then and to what conclusion I will come regarding wanting or not wanting kids. I know it's may be simplification, I know kids require a lot of effort, stress, and energy draining as well, I'm just sharing my reason where I felt the strong drain even when there were not much effort needed, just a bit of attention. So now I feel like I don't know what to do. I miss my partner veeery much, as said we really care and love each other. I still cry a few times a day, feeling lonely. I would like to get back together and say that I want kids, but I'm not 100% sure, I just feel like the biggest burden that I felt around this topic can be lifted. I'm scared that it would be too early, I'm scared to I'd do it in this strong emotions and that may be no the best decision. I'm sure that I don't want to mislead anyone, I don't want to say OK and then say that I change my mind. When I decide, I want to be sure that it is a full commitment without turning back. But I'm also scared that if I wait, then my partner will find someone else. Maybe not now, but if months pass then there's a chance for that. Of course, I don't know how I will feel in a few months, but I don't think I want to risk it. I don't know how long I should wait. I don't know what to do ;/
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