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loyalTurtle8038
2 947 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceApril 6, 2018
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Lost, realized I'll never be accepted by my family
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by loyalTurtle8038
Last post
 January 27th, 2025
...See more Realized I may never come out as bi to my family after hearing them make transphobic and homophobic jokes while drunk. I am not out in my 30s as I have an opposite sex long term partner. I visited my family recently and it was going well til they got drunk and started sprouting right wing jokes about non-binary/trans/anyone who isn't straight and calling people homophobic slurs. The energy in the room was palpable as they were daring me to say anything (earlier in the night I stupidly made an anti-Trump comment). I kept quiet as I was working on something and pretended to focus on it. I really wish I had the courage to say something but I'm partially disabled so I rely on my family to help with bills and stuff and feel like I'd be cut off if I outed myself. I eventually went to somewhere private to break down crying. They offered me to move back with them,which at first I wanted to accept but between the jokes and the next 4 years I really want to stay in my deep blue state rather than moving to a purple one. I may end up homeless but at least I'll have the last shred of my dignity that I didn't move in with bigots that treat me like a burden. I don't really know what to do,but I know my story isn't uncommon except for perhaps my age of still not being out.
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Feeling lost. Thought my family would accept me eventually but recently realized they probably won't.
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by loyalTurtle8038
Last post
 January 28th, 2025
...See more Still not out as bi in my 30s since I'm with an opposite sex partner. Been too afraid to come out to my family as sadly I am still somewhat financially reliant on them as I'm partially disabled. I recently visited with all of my immediate family and was feeling pretty decent until they all got drunk and started making the same old tired non-binary and trans jokes, calling people qu**r, and just generally being trans/homophobic. The energy in the room was palpable that they were daring me to say something but I kept quiet. I moved across the country years ago from a purple state that has a ton of red to a deep blue state. I'm basically out of money and I had an offer to move back with my immediate family again that I almost accepted but after hearing how they really feel---and they don't have the gall to say things like this while not drunk,as if being drunk is an excuse---i don't want to move back. At this point I may be homeless but I'll keep the last of my dignity that I don't have to move in with bigots who treat me like a burden. Especially with the new president I want to stay in my deep blue state. It's expensive,as most west coast states are. But at least I feel like there's a better support system here than I'd get in other states as well. I feel like such a coward for not coming out. I feel like if I did my family would never talk to me again, which would hurt. I feel like I should have come out a decade ago but I've only accepted in bi within the last 2 years despite having hints since I hit puberty. Since I was raised super religious I squashed those feelings down. I honestly don't know what to do.
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